


Twisted and Torn

by thecopperriver



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Implied Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Memory Alteration, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Starvation, Unhealthy Relationships, ben solo is not nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:18:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7911439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecopperriver/pseuds/thecopperriver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ari is sixteen and meeting Ben Solo for the first time.  He’s heard of Ben before, of course.  His mum kept close ties with Senator Organa, who she’d been attendant to during the Empire.  But this is their first chance to meet in person.  While their mothers make plans for the future of the Republic, and their fathers swap stories about piloting, the two boys sound each other out.</p><p>How do they go from here to General Hux and Kylo Ren?</p><p>(This is an expansion of my earlier story, also called Twisted and Torn.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Twisted and Torn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7687579) by [thecopperriver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecopperriver/pseuds/thecopperriver). 



> This fic's inspiration can really be summed up by the quote, "You know, I can take whatever I want?"
> 
> A huge thanks to [valda](http://archiveofourown.org/users/valda/pseuds/valda) for being an awesome beta. Also to [My_Trex_has_fleas](http://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Trex_has_fleas/works) and [GreenSorceress](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenSorceress/pseuds/GreenSorceress) for letting me bounce ideas off them.

Ari is sixteen and meeting Ben Solo for the first time.  He’s heard of Ben before, of course.  His mum kept close ties with Senator Organa, who she’d been attendant to during the Empire.  But this is their first chance to meet in person.  While their mothers make plans for the future of the Republic, and their fathers swap stories about piloting, the two boys sound each other out.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ben.”  He holds his hand out to the younger teen, repressing the urge to grin at how much he resembles a puppy.  His hands and feet (not to mention his ears) are oversized, out of proportion on a lanky body that has yet to grow into grace.  Large brown eyes gaze up at him, already expecting mockery instead of friendship.

It’s likely that which makes Ben’s reply surly.  “Go ahead and laugh,  _ Armitage _ .  Everyone else does.”

Ari scrunches his nose up in distaste.  “Please, don’t call me Armitage.  I’m named after some great-grandfather who was a hero in the Old Republic; it’s supposed to be an honour, but I  _ hate  _ that name.  My friends call me Ari, everyone else calls me Hux.”

For the first time since they landed, he sees a hint of a smile on Ben’s face.  “I don’t like my full first name either, Hux.”

“Hey!”  He pushes Ben’s shoulder teasingly.  “I said my friends call me Ari, didn’t I?”

And now with Ben’s face lit up with pleasure, revealing dimples which frame his full mouth, now Ari can see how this is the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa.  He just has to grow into himself first.

Shy and flushing, Ben ducks his head, hiding behind his fringe as he asks, “You – you want to be my friend?  Really?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”  Ari doesn’t mention that it only makes sense to befriend Ben, their parents being so close.  Or that he doesn’t actually have many friends anyway, his tendency to sharp sarcasm and his intelligence not exactly making him popular.  At least once they learned that he wouldn’t do their schoolwork for them.

Ben shuffles his large feet awkwardly, staring determinedly at the ground.  “I…lots of people are afraid of me, cause I have the Force.  They’ve only heard rumours about what it can do.  A popular one seems to be that the Jedi could steal people’s minds away, and make them puppets.”  

“Can you do that?”  Ari has a feeling the answer is ‘no’, though the idea fascinates him.  The number of people who could be trusted with an ability like that though…

“Only the Sith would steal someone’s will like that!” Ben shouts indignantly.  “I’m a  _ Jedi _ , like my Uncle.”

Ari raises his hands defensively, laughing.  “I didn’t say you would, Ben.  I was just curious if you  _ could _ .”  Seeing their parents glancing over curiously after Ben’s outburst, he grabs the other teen’s thin wrist.  “C’mon, let’s go to my room.  Do you like starships?”

Face lit up with excitement, Ben follows eagerly.  “Of course!  Dad and Uncle Chewie have been teaching me about the Falcon for years, though I’m not allowed to pilot by myself yet.  I got to be co-pilot the whole way here though!”

“My dad’s teaching me to fly too.”  Ari pushes open the door to his room and immediately gravitates to his X-Wing model, the first he’d made on his own that he was willing to display.

“One day, I’m going to pilot one of these,” he shows off the model proudly.  “And I’m going to take aerospace engineering in University, so I’ll be able to do my own maintenance too.”

Ben’s already large eyes grow round in excitement.  The clearly excitable twelve-year old chatters away about his own piloting.  “I’m going to be even better at it than you, Ari.  I’m going to be a Jedi, and no one can beat Force reflexes,” he brags.

Ari finds the younger teen strangely endearing.  He’s usually not over-fond of those younger than him, since he has enough trouble relating to his so-called ‘peers’.  But Ben is guileless and clearly eager to please, willing to talk without Ari contributing more than the slightest show of interest.  He’s easy to be around.  He actually manages to keep conversation going until they’re called to dinner without the slightest awkwardness, Ben even drawing a promise from him.

“When I become a Jedi Knight, will you be a member of the Republic’s Navy?”

“That’s currently my plan.  Why?”

Ben bounces from where he’s seated himself on Ari’s bed, grabbing at him in excitement.  “Uncle Luke said there are too few Jedi now to work like they used to.  That we’re going to have to find partners from the Republic to help keep the peace.  Will you be my partner once I’m Knighted?”

Ari chokes down his laughter at Ben’s eagerness.  “Sure, Ben.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”  He figures Ben will have forgotten about it by then, teenage whims lost in the face of more practical concerns.  But hey, there are worse things than having a Jedi to watch your back.

* * *

Ari is eighteen and visiting the Jedi temple, as he often does, when Master Luke stops him in one of the winding hallways.  “Do you have a moment?  There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Of course, Master Luke.”  He can’t think of what the Jedi Master might need to speak to him regarding, unless his presence is no longer welcome.

Luke leads him to his private meditation chamber, gesturing Ari to one of the large cushions.  He folds his lanky form down gracefully, accustomed to joining the padawans in meditation on his visits.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked to speak with you,” Luke says with a sheepish grin.  “I suppose I made more of a production of it than I’d intended.”

Ari grins in return.  “I had wondered, yes.  I thought maybe you wanted to ask me to leave.  Maybe my sarcasm is a poor example for your wayward younglings.”

“Just the opposite, actually,” Luke chuckles.  “I was hoping you’d agree to stay here.  A lot of the padawans look up to you already.  I know you’re doing your engineering degree, but a lot of that can be done via correspondence, right?  And you could teach the padawans, help the older ones find degree programs they’ll enjoy.  I don’t have the resources the Jedi used to have, I can’t teach them all myself,” Luke says ruefully.  "And Ben...he's fond of you."  Ari would swear Luke had planned to end that sentence differently.  


Ari’s immediate impulse is to agree, but he forces himself to consider the offer more carefully.  “You aren’t worried that I’d show favouritism?  Ben’s the reason I began to visit, after all.”

The older man waves his hand dismissively.  “It’s a fair thought, but you’re cautious enough that it’s not a concern.  I’ve never worried about the other padawans feeling left out when you visit.  You’re too modest sometimes, Ari, you don’t realize how much they look up to you.”

“Master Luke…”  Ari feels the heat of his damnably pale skin flushing under his freckles.  “I really don’t do much.”

“You listen to them, and you treat their concerns seriously.  All most of them really want is not to be treated as a youngling.  As their teacher, I can’t always do that.”

“I’ll have to speak to Mum about it, but if she agrees…”

“Excellent!”

____________________

Maratelle Hux looks unsurprised when Ari asks her about staying at the temple during their regular comm call that evening.  Strictly speaking, he doesn’t need her permission.  But after his Da’s death the year before (a heart defect that went undetected under Imperial rule, too late to fix once the Republic was restored), mother and son had stuck close.  It was her influence as Senator that had gotten him consideration for his unusual early application to the prestigious aerospace engineering program on Corellia, his own merits gaining his acceptance.  If she doesn’t want him to stay, he won’t.  There’s something sad in the pale jade eyes he’d inherited, but she’s smiling.

“Mum…?  I – you know I’ll come right home if you want me to, right?”

One delicate hand reaches out as if she could cup his cheek through the holo.  “Oh my beautiful, brilliant boy.  I’m so proud of you.  You’ve made a home for yourself there; it’s no small honour to be trusted by Master Skywalker.  And he clearly  _ does _ trust you, or else he wouldn’t be inviting someone Force blind to help him.”

“Mum!”  Once again Ari knows from the heat in his face that he’s flushing as brilliantly red as his hair.

She waves away his protests.  “I know you get funny about hearing how brilliant you are, so I’ll stop.”  Maratelle sweeps her deep brown hair away from her face.  “Just promise you’ll come visit me regularly.”

“Of course I will, Mum.”  Ari mirrors her gesture.  Though he’s excited to stay at the temple, he’s going to miss her.  With that decided, they move on to their usual chatter.  She shares news of the latest bills under debate in the Senate, he tells of the latest misadventures of the padawans learning to control the Force.  A particularly gifted (though not with control) young female Togruta had made her rock  _ explode _ the day before when she was meant to be levitating it.  Everyone had been showered with rock dust and gravel.

____________________

Not long after his comm call ends, Ben barges into his room without knocking and throws himself into Ari’s lap.  If the weight of a steadily growing fifteen-year old isn’t enough, he wraps his muscular arms around Ari’s ribs so tightly he can scarcely draw breath.

“Ben, can’t breathe,” Ari manages to wheeze.

Startled, Ben releases him.  He twists to peer up at the older teen with a sheepish look on his face.  “Sorry, Ari.  But Uncle Luke told me you’re going to stay here with me!  You’re going to help me train, right?”

Ari sighs.  “I wish I’d had the chance to tell you myself.  I’d thought Master Luke wouldn’t say anything until I had an opportunity to talk to Mum.”

Ben large frame wilts as he folds in on himself dejectedly.  “Does that mean you’re not staying after all?”

“No, I’m staying.”  He has to smack Ben as the brunet immediately returns to squeezing his ribs.  “Stop that!  You’re getting too big to launch yourself onto my lap anyways.”

“Aww, Ari!  Really?”

Incredulous, Ari looks down at the muscular teen crushing the feeling out of his legs.  “Ben, you do realize you’re not twelve anymore, right?  I may still be taller than you, and join in with physical training, but you’re more muscular than I’ll ever be.  And all that muscle makes you heavy.”

Determined to still express his affection physically as he always has with Ari, Ben sulks as he shifts off his lap.  “Fine.”  Instead, he manages to wrap himself around Ari from behind.

“That’s better, thanks.  As to your earlier question, I’ll help with your training as I can, but I’m not Force sensitive.  Master Luke wants me to help all the padawans with their schooling, not just you.  He can’t teach everything all by himself.”

A heavy sigh is his only response.  Ari looks down to find Ben’s pout has deepened, the teen trying to hide behind his heavy fringe.  “What’s wrong, Ben?”  Gently, he cards his fingers through soft hair, pushing it back from Ben’s face while trying not to tug on the padawan braid.

“You were  _ my _ friend first,” Ben grumbles.

“And I’m glad for it, I wouldn’t have this opportunity otherwise.”

Ben shoves himself back violently, knocking Ari off his bed in the process.  “So that’s it then?  You got what you wanted from being my friend, now you’re going to help  _ them  _ instead.  I should have expected it.  I  _ knew _ you were lying when you said you really wanted to be my friend.”

Before Ari can gather himself from the heap he’s landed in on the floor, Ben storms past him and out the door.  He’s trying to hide them, but the older teen gets a glimpse of angry tears.  Ari’s hard landing is compounded by the sudden withdrawal of Ben’s mind from his own, sending his senses reeling.   _ ‘Why can’t Ben be as good at _ interpreting  _ emotions as he is at _ reading  _ them?’ _ he thinks ruefully.

By the time Ari collects himself from his shock, Ben is out of sight.  He checks Ben’s room first, then all of the favourite hiding spots.  Ben is nowhere to be found.

In desperation, Ari seeks out Luke.

“Master Luke!” he pants, out of breath from dashing through the temple’s winding halls.

“Ari!  What’s wrong?  Did something go wrong on your comm call?”

“No, no, that’s all fine.  But Ben took something I said the wrong way, and now I can’t find him anywhere!”

“Hmm, that’s not good.”  Luke strokes over his new beard thoughtfully.

While the Jedi Master is lost in contemplation, Ari nearly jumps out of his skin with impatience.

At last Luke says, “Follow me.” 

For the second time that day, Ari follows Luke to his personal meditation chambers.  Though he’s never been able to before, he still stretches out his senses in an attempt to find Ben.  As ever, it’s fruitless.  Never before has he truly desired to be Force sensitive, but if it would let him find Ben and explain…

“I can feel him,” Master Luke’s voice is vague, still deep in meditation as he searches out his errant nephew.  “There’s something blocking me, but I can tell he’s safe.”  He opens his eyes to look kindly at Ari.

“It’s not entirely uncommon for him to run off like this, Ari.  I’d give him the night to calm down, or else he’s likely to misunderstand whatever explanation you try to give.”

“Thank you, Master Luke.”  It  _ is _ getting late, after all.  Though part of Ari rebels against the idea, he heads to bed with the resolution that he’ll speak to Ben first thing the next morning.

* * *

Ari is twenty-two and has just been pulled away from Ben’s lifeday celebration by Ben himself.

“C’mon, Ari, I have something I want to give you.”

Laughing, he protests.  “Ben, it’s  _ your _ lifeday.  We’re supposed to have gifts for  _ you! _ ”  Still, Ari allows himself to stumble along in Ben’s wake. 

Ben leads him to a distant corner of the temple, a rarely visited rock meditation garden that is less favoured than the ones with greenery.  He tugs Ari down on a bench around the curved edge of the space.

Ari glanced around, absently searching for some kind of package.  “Have you stashed whatever it is in your robes?  And why do you intend to give me something today, of all days?”

Chuckling, Ben pulls Ari closer.  “Oh, this is for me, too.  Close your eyes, please?”

He complies, though puzzled.  Long heartbeats pass with his eyes shut, and he neither hears nor feels Ben moving.  He’s about to open them to find out what’s going on, when soft lips brush against his in a feather-light kiss.

When he pulls back, stunned, he finds himself staring into Ben’s brown eyes from closer than he’s ever seen them before.

“I knew you’d never have let me do that before I came of age.”  Ben smiles softly, pleased with himself.

For his part, Ari is shocked.  He’s long known that gender matters little to him in terms of attraction, and had passing thoughts about how Ben is growing into his looks at last.  But he’d had no idea that the padawan was attracted to  _ him _ .  Ben had always been tactile with Ari, but he’s like that with all those he cares for.   _ Is Ben even allowed this?  Luke hasn’t outright banned attachments in the way of the old Jedi at least.  But he hasn’t encouraged them either, saying that any Jedi who chooses a relationship must be prepared for their duty to come first.  Could it be seen as favouritism? (Of the strangest sort.)  Does  _ he _ even want this? _  So many thoughts flashing through Ari’s mind in an instant.  In the end, Ari’s willing to try this, a relationship.  But he hopes Ben won’t be devastated if things don’t work out.

For now, Ari wants more kisses.

Ben whines when Ari threads long fingers through his thick hair and pulls him into another kiss.  This one is less hesitant, more exploratory.  Their lips brush once, twice, Ari teasing his tongue along the seam of Ben’s lips.  When Ben opens his mouth in a gasp, he captures the younger man’s plush lower lip gently between his teeth.

As expected, it seems Ben has never kissed anyone before.  That’s alright though, Ari has just enough experience to make it pleasurable for both of them.

When he pulls away to enjoy the sight of Ben flushed, lips kiss-bruised and full, Ben tries to follow him to continue.  Ari’s grip on his hair stops him from managing to catch him up in another.

“Ari- _ iii _ .”  His whine this time is more petulant than pleasured.  “Why did you stop?”

He chuckles lightly.  “We don’t have to do everything  _ tonight _ you know.  We have time.  This is pretty new for both of us, let’s just go slow and enjoy ourselves, right?”

Ben pouts, but reluctantly agrees.  He steals one final kiss before they separate, sneaking back to the lifeday party and hoping no one has noticed the length of their absence.

* * *

Ari is twenty-three and Ben has come to his room and said two words.  “I’m ready.”

With his tendency to sarcasm and teasing, he almost says, “ready for what?” but the resolute yet slightly scared expression on Ben’s face stops him.

Instead, he pats the bed beside him gently.  “C’mon, Ben.  Shut the door and come sit down.”

When he does as asked, Ari pulls him into a soothing kiss, hoping the familiar will help.  “Are you sure, Ben?  It’s not a race, and we don’t ever have to do penetration.”

“I’m sure.”  Ben’s response is stubborn.  “I want to give myself to you like that, Ari.  I love you, I know you’ll make it good.”

“Well then,” in one quick move, he has Ben on his back in the bed, hovering over him.  At the beautiful expression of surprise, he quirks a smile.  “What?  I’ve been joining in whatever training I can do without the Force.  You thought I hadn’t learned anything from it?”

Ben laughs, and Ari can feel some of his tension dissipating.

“That’s right, Ben.  Just relax and this will feel great.”  Ari strokes one hand down Ben’s side, the other keeping his full weight off the brunet.  “I love you too.  Just tell me if anything feels uncomfortable, and we’ll stop, or try something else, alright?”

The younger man nods, but something about the set of his jaw warns Ari.

“Promise me, Ben, or I’m stopping this right now.  I want your first time to be good, so you want to do this again, alright?”

“I promise.”

“And remember, this isn’t a race.”  The hand which had been stroking over Ben’s tunics worms underneath, Ari pleased by the silky skin he’s felt so many times before.  He’s determined to make this as much like the other opportunities they’ve had to get each other off with hands or mouths as possible.  Hopefully that will keep Ben nice and relaxed so opening him up to take Ari’s cock goes smoothly.

Ben doesn’t seem to have caught on to the  _ ‘not a race’ _ part, as he’s frantically fumbling at Ari’s almost-Jedi tunics.   He can feel Ben’s uncontrolled mind brushing up against his.

Pushing himself up to kneel over Ben, Ari gently grabs his hands and stills them.  “Shhh, Ben, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s  _ wrong _ , I just…”

“You want to get it over with?  Because you think it’ll hurt?”

Ben nods, wide-eyed.  “Are you certain you’re not the Jedi?  I swear you can read my mind sometimes.”

Ari laughs.  “I’m sure.  It comes from knowing you since you were  _ twelve _ ,” he teases.  Pre-empting Ben, he unfastens the wide fabric belts around both of their tunics, and places Ben’s hands on his own chest.  “Nothing’s different tonight, Ben.  I swear, I’ll stop immediately if something’s even a little uncomfortable.  I won’t hurt you.  It only hurts if you do it wrong.  And...maybe stay out of my mind for now?  Just focus on what you’re feeling, love.”

Ben relaxes under him at last, sending shivers up Ari’s spine as he traces his skin gently.

Leaning down, Ari captures Ben’s lips in a sloppy kiss.  Hopefully he can distract him with enough familiar pleasure that he forgets to worry.

One by one, each piece of fabric is peeled away until they’re clothed only in slick sweat as they rut against each other.  Ari had managed to grab lubricant and a barrier while he had Ben preoccupied with kisses, and he slicks his fingers now while nibbling a trail down the brunet’s neck. 

They both pause for a brief spate of giggles when Ben’s padawan braid tickles Ari’s nose into a sneeze, but Ben’s giggle cuts off with a sharp gasp as Ari reaches between his legs at last.  At first, he does nothing more than tease him.  Ari’s long finger traces endless circles around the pursed muscle until he can feel it relax, and Ben along with it.  He seizes the opportunity to dip just the tip of his index finger inside.

“How does that feel?”  His voice has lowered until it’s a gravelly purr in Ben’s ear.

“It feels – ooh,” Ben squirms under Ari, “it’s a weird fullness?  It’s not uncomfortable though.”

With that confirmed, Ari dares to push his finger a little deeper before withdrawing it, setting up a steady but slow rhythm as Ben pants quietly.

“Mmm, that feels better than I was expecting.  Is this why some people like being on the bottom so much?”

“It is for some,” Ari replies.  With Ben responding well, he dares to pull out and insert a second finger pressed close to the first.  “But what really makes it for most is…” a little probing and he feels a rougher patch of tissue under his fingertips, stroking gently over the little gland, “…this.”

He’s not disappointed by the reaction.  Always so responsive and open, Ben arches off the bed as he wails in pleasure.  A bit of a bastard, Ari keeps it up until he sees the first glisten of tears in Ben’s eyes.

“Ohhhh,” Ben moans, “ohhh, I’m sold.  Stick your cock in me, Ari; that feels amazing.”

Ben’s certainly not ready for his cock, but Ari adds a third digit, gentle slick fingers prodding and scissoring as Ben pants and whines beautifully beneath him.   He comes close to moaning himself, Ben is so hot and needy.  So incredibly soft inside.

When at last Ari judges Ben to be stretched enough, and then a little extra, there’s just one final thing to sort.  “How did you want to do this, love?  It’ll be easier on your front.”

“No,” Ben shakes his head urgently, “I want to be able to see you, touch you.”

Touched, Ari trails his clean hand down Ben’s flank, scratching lightly to make him shiver and clench around Ari’s fingers.  “Right then, lift your hips.  Having a pillow there will make this easier.”

He can see Ben’s puzzlement how a pillow will help, but the brunet shifts it into position anyways.

Reaching for the barrier, Ari tears it open as he gazes at the pale body laid out before him, speckled with dark moles like inverse constellations.  “You’re perfect, love.  So perfect.”  He hisses when he rolls the barrier over his long-neglected cock, unable to resist giving himself a few pumps.  Ari slicks more lube over himself, and lines up carefully with Ben’s entrance.

“Are you ready?”

Ben grins, wild and happy.  “I was ready a finger ago, if you recall.  Go on, stick it to me.”

Ari laughs along with him, at least until he carefully slides in.  They both go still, Ari almost quivering with his need to move, but unwilling to hurt Ben.

“Are you alright?”

“’m fine, Ari.  It just feels a little different – fuller?”  Ben inhales deeply, drawing a groan from Ari when he clenches around his length.  “S’ok, you can – ahhh – you can move now.”

Taking Ben at his word, Ari slowly edges himself the rest of the way, until he bottoms out.  Already, he can tell he’s not going to last very long.  One of Ben’s legs he hikes over his shoulder, wrapping the other around his waist as he slides both of his knees on either side of the pillow.  Stabilized, his slick hand takes hold of Ben’s cock.  Ari’s determined he’s not going to come before the younger man at least.  He tries to match the rhythm of his hips to the motion of his hand. 

Losing track of everything aside from their bodies moving together, slick and hot and tight, Ari isn’t sure how long it is before Ben spills over his hand with a shout.  And that’s it for him too, as Ben’s walls pulse around Ari with the force of his orgasm.  Panting, he pumps in and out of Ben’s entrance as he empties his peak into the barrier, courteous enough to collapse to Ben’s side instead of on top of him.

“That was…wow,” Ben says when he’s regained his breath enough to speak.  “Is it always like that?  Was I…was I good for you?”  And now a note of insecurity enters his voice.

“Kriff, Ben, that was incredible.  It’s never been like that for me before.”

After Ari cleans them both with a damp towel from the fresher, Ben almost manhandles him into bed, tucking Ari’s head under his chin as he spoons him.

“I’m never going to let you go,” Ben promises as they drift off to sleep.

* * *

Ari is twenty-four and Ben comes to his room just before the usual curfew at the Jedi temple.  He smiles when he sees the younger man pause in his doorway, a common sight in the evenings.  Anticipating Ben to stride in and kiss him, his expectant pleasure fades when he takes in the urgent expression on Ben’s face.

Now fully alert, Ari swings his legs off the bed in preparation for whatever emergency has arisen.  “What’s happened, Ben?”

“We have to leave, Hux.”

“What?  Why?”

“I had a premonition from the Force.  There’s going to be a disaster soon.  We have to leave,  _ now _ .”

The intensity in Ben’s face convinces him to push his questions away for the time being.  If they’re truly short on time, best to take him at his word.  “Alright then,” he says, tone businesslike, “you gather the padawans from the west wing, I’ll take the east.”

“No, we leave  _ now _ ,” Ben orders.

A strange lassitude sweeps over Ari, his sharp thoughts suddenly as thick as the sea on Sullust.  He finds himself pacing Ben, docile.  None of the thoughts which swim through his mind make it to his lips, and Ben doesn’t respond to the unspoken words as he often does.  Ari joked once that Ben spends more time in  _ his _ head than he does his own.  Ben’s strange silence in the face of Ari’s questions and distress seems that it  _ should _ be setting off alarm bells in his head.  It’s almost as if the Force is dampening his quick thinking, and the same phenomenon smothers his fear at the notion of a hostile Force user.

More muted klaxons ring through his mind when Ben leads him to a small freighter he’s never seen before.  It’s not the shuttle Master Luke had taken for his usual supply run, nor is it the Millennium Falcon come to visit.  Still unwillingly silent, he follows Ben into the cockpit and takes the pilot’s seat.  Ari wars against the forced calm in his mind, but it has stolen over him too entirely.

Voice strange enough to send shivers up his spine, Ben speaks at last.  “I have to go take care of something, Hux, but I’ll be back soon.”  A wave of his hand deepens the Force sway over Ari’s sharp intelligence.  He barely registers Ben’s departure.

Time passes in a haze for Ari after Ben leaves.  Some part of him registers the arrival of another shuttle, black and ominous and designed for war.  Dark figures venture out like ghosts, heading towards the temple.  He sees them return and hears the whine of their shuttle’s departure, all while wondering vaguely if they were even real, or some symptom of the strange haziness which has overtaken him.  Perhaps he has been infected with something, and Ben has to get him off-planet before anyone else can be affected.

When the younger man returns at last, he’s covered in blood with a wild look in his eyes.  Not that Ari can see much of the crimson spatters, what with Ben wearing ragged, unfamiliar black robes.

“The temple!  It was attacked,” Ben rasps out before Ari can speak.  “Everyone but us has been killed, we have to go.”

Still numb, Hux turns to the console in front of him, taking off smoothly as he plots the hyperdrive course.  Somehow, he knows the only place to go is to Ben’s Master.  Snoke will protect them.

Some part of Ari, hidden away deep and safe, wonders who  _ Snoke  _ could be.

____________________

Ari stumbles in Ben’s wake when they land on a desolate planet, the only structure a crumbling fortress.  The pristine interior belies the ruined façade, and Ben leads them unerringly down massive stone hallways.  Something in Ari insists this is wrong, but the rest of his mind soothes it away.

They emerge into a massive, echoing audience chamber, where a wasted creature sits on a damaged throne.  “You have done well, my new apprentice.  But who is this?  You were supposed to destroy  _ everyone _ at Skywalker’s school.”

Ari cries out in aching disbelief.  Could Ben truly be responsible for the killing?  Nausea wells in his gut.  The man he loves is wearing the blood of their friends and students.   The strange fog that had settled over his mind is gone, but he cannot move.  He cannot speak.  This, he realizes, is Ben's power, turned against him for the first time.  Now he can feel the darkness emanating from both the creature, and the man he thought he knew.

“This is Hux, Master.  You promised I could keep him.”

“Are you disobeying my orders already, boy?”  The creature tries to thunder but its voice still has an odd, raspy quality to it, as if it has been damaged.  “Are you not truly committed to following the path of the Dark Side, and finishing your Grandfather’s work?”

“No, Master!”  Ben cries out, horrified, as he drops to one knee in submission.  Ari’s spine crawls as Ben then glances up with the same pout Ari has so often given into.  “But he’s a brilliant engineer, I’m sure he’ll be useful to you.  And you promised!  You said that the Dark Side doesn’t frown on attachments like Skywalker did.”

“Very well,” the whispery voice accedes, “you may keep him.”

“Like hell you will!”  Voice regained at last, everything in Ari rebels at Ben  _ keeping  _ him, like a pet.  Fury roils through him, fury and sorrow, giving him the strength to move past Ben’s Force hold.  Or perhaps it’s simply the (former?) padawan’s shock at the ferocity of Ari’s emotions.  Either way, he only makes it a few steps before invisible bonds spin him to face the throne once again, pin his arms behind his back.  Heavy pressure pushes him to his knees even as he looks up at Ben with betrayal bleeding from his jade eyes.

“Ben…why?”  He can’t understand  _ any _ of this.

Snoke chuckles, sending chills up Ari’s spine.  “It appears your  _ lover  _ is of a different mind than you, my apprentice.”

Ari can read the distress in Ben’s large brown eyes as the man Ari thought he loved looks back and forth from where he has trapped Ari on his knees to his new Master, high on his throne.  A heavy hand lands on Ari’s head, but he can’t move enough to shake it off.  All he can do is bare his teeth in a snarl at Ben.  How could Ben have hidden something so monstrous from him?

The hand on his head possessively combs back the shaggy red curtain that had fallen in front of Ari’s eyes, as if he has already become Ben’s pet.  “I know, my Master, but I’ll  _ make _ him understand.  He was raised by the same liars and traitors as I was, he just hasn’t had a chance to learn the truth.”

“You’re both kriffing delusional if you think you have the  _ truth _ here,” Ari grits out.

Ben sighs.  “Oh Hux.  Once you see what Master has taught me, you’ll wonder how you ever believed otherwise.  The Dark side is beautiful, and the First Order only has the best interests of the galaxy in mind.  The New Republic is full of hypocrites, speaking of peace and freedom while building their own interests on the backs of those less privileged.”

Ari barks out a laugh.  The entire situation just feels so unreal, and now Ben is spouting this drivel about the Dark side?  “You really think that our parents, everyone we grew up with, were lying about what they experienced at the hands of the Empire?  That Luke was lying when he spoke of the temptation of the Dark, and how it twists people?  That…”

“Enough!” Snoke commands, Ari’s mouth sealing with a ‘snap’ that barely misses catching his tongue between his teeth.  “I do not have time to deal with this whelp of yours today, boy.  Take him to a cell, and when you are ready, I will help you to persuade him.”

“Yes, Master.”  Ben bows deeply to the crumbling throne and throws Ari over his shoulder like cargo.

As soon as they are out of the audience chamber, Ari begins struggling wildly.  All he can think of is finding Master Luke and General Organa, getting them to help snap Ben out of whatever delusion he’s trapped in.  There’s a pained yelp when one of his feet connects  _ hard  _ with some part of Ben’s anatomy, and he manages to squirm free to land awkwardly on the stone floor.  

Before he can make it to his feet, a heavy boot kicks him over to his back before planting itself on his chest.  More Force bonds hold his limbs to the floor, the boot only serving to emphasize his helplessness.  A full-face helmet decorated in a grid pattern meets his gaze as he looks up the length of whoever has him pinned.

The voice which emerges from the mask is heavily modified and rather androgynous.  Through the heavy robes they wear, he can’t even see enough of the form of the one mocking Ben to even discern their species.  “Having difficulty controlling your pet, apprentice?” they ask.

Ari can see Ben’s feet move in the way that means he’s squaring himself off to bristle at the other.  “I had it under control, you didn’t need to intervene.”  A choked-off sound of pain is the next sound from Ben.  Ari can see the handle of a blade emerging from the boot pressed against his chest.  If he could move, he would grab it.  Ben’s pain is a fist tightening in his chest, even now.

“Be careful how you speak to me,  _ apprentice _ .  I follow the orders of our Leader.  And you,  _ you _ have not yet earned a  _ name _ , much less a place among we Knights.”  A harsh electronic crackle that seems to be the figure’s version of a sigh follows as the boot lifts off Ari’s chest.  He feels a cautious relief.  It’s proven false almost immediately by the heavy kick into his side.  His invisible bonds release a moment later, the Knight ‘kind’ enough to permit him to curl around the injury.

“Pick him up, and follow me,” the mechanical voice commands.  “I will show you where the leader wishes him kept.  And you had best keep hold of him this time, or it is not just  _ him _ that will earn punishment.”

Only after Ari is slung into a barren cell, his boots and overtunics removed and the rest of his clothing thoroughly searched, does he realise the vise-grip that held his mouth shut has relented at last.  As Ben fastens a shackle around his ankle, securing him to a chain that will keep him from getting too close to the door even in this small space, he finds his voice again.

“Ben, why are you doing this to me?  I thought you loved me.”

The Knight in the doorway scoffs mechanically and glides away.  Evidently their responsibilities are discharged now that Ari is secured.  It makes his heart drop; they were only there to watch him and not Ben after all.  There go his hopes for an assisted escape, that Ben had somehow been forced to take part in a massacre and to offer him up.

For his part, Ben startles back, hurt gleaming in his brown eyes.  “I do love you, Hux!”

“Then why am I to be locked in a cell while you walk free?”

Ben reaches out to run his hand through Ari’s hair again, but this time Ari’s hands are free to smack it away.  It’s not an action well-received by Ben.  Immediately Ari is pinned to the wall by the Force and Ben’s own overwhelming strength.  “Don’t fight me, Hux.  I don’t like it.  You’ll go free too, once you’ve accepted the truth that Master has shown me.  We’ll bring the galaxy into order, side by side, my love.”

Disgust roils through Ari like bile.  “If that’s what you plan for me, then I think I’d rather you had killed me with the others.  How can you think moulding me into something that suits  _ your _ ideals is love?”

A large hand covers his mouth, clamping it shut, jostling his head emphatically.  “Never say that again.   _ Never! _ ”  Ari’s skull connects with the stone a few times, making him dizzy.  “I would  _ never _ hurt you, Hux.  I promised that I would never let you go.”  Ben’s other hand strokes heavily over his hair, Force bonds returning as Ben stands.

“I promise, Hux, you’ll understand soon.  For now though, you should get some sleep.”  As the door locks behind him with a foreboding ‘clang’, Ari hears him say quietly, “I love you, sleep well.”

____________________

Ben doesn’t appear at his door again for what Ari believes to be a little over three weeks.  There’s no window in his cell; the only indication of the passage of time is the twice-daily appearance of a Stormtrooper at his door.  Each time they bring him a meal – half a ration bar and a bottle of water.  Technically, it’s enough nutrients to sustain him.  Already slender, his frame is on its way to becoming emaciated.  Ari tries to forestall his own deterioration, exercising as best he can in the cramped confines.  He’s glad he can’t really smell himself any more.  Sixteen days of sweat without being able to wash himself… he feels disgusting, and probably smells it too.  His guess is confirmed when Ben opens the heavy door at last, wrinkling his nose at the stench.

Some part of Ari is gleeful, remembering that the Force has given Ben enhanced senses.

“Come to let me go home?”

Ben sighs, as if he’s dealing with a recalcitrant child who doesn’t want to eat their vegetables, crouching down to unlock the shackle.  “I’m taking you to my Master.  He has time for you now.”

“That’s very nice,” Ari retorts, sickly sweet and sarcastic, “but I don’t particularly  _ want _ him to make time for me.”  His statement is punctuated with a hard kick to Ben’s solar plexus, sending him back on his behind.  The squealing gasp Ben makes when all the air is driven from him has pleasure and pain warring in Ari.

He regrets it less when Ben’s response is to slam him upright against the stone wall of the cell, cracking his head painfully, and hold him in place with the Force.

“Why do you keep fighting me?  You’re Force blind, you know it’s useless to deny the will of someone so much stronger than you are.”

“Go pfassk a nexu, Ben.  If that’s what you think of me, why do you even want to keep me around?  Or have I been your pet all this time?”  He’d believe almost anything of Ben at this point, even if it makes his heart freeze and stutter in his chest.

“You’re not a pet, Hux!” Ben protests.  “Just… not a Force user.  Of course you’re going to be weaker and less perceptive.”

Ari chokes on a hysterical giggle.  “Less perceptive is right, if I didn’t notice you going mad.”

“Just… just  _ shut up _ , Hux!” Ben slashes his hand through the air as Snoke’s trick takes hold of Ari’s mouth.

Pinned and voiceless, Ari resorts to  _ thinking _ filthy invective at Ben as directly as he can.  The flinch tells him that Ben can hear him perfectly.  The other man evidently elects to do his best to ignore it; he’s perfunctory as he unlocks the shackle and once again heaves Ari’s Force bound body over his shoulder.

“I don’t like needing to bind you, but you’ve made it clear I can’t trust you to be reasonable, Hux.”

In spite of himself, a plaintive thought bubbles up in his mind.   _ ‘Why won’t you call me Ari?’ _

_ ‘Master wouldn’t like it, it’s too affectionate.  Hux is a name more suited to the Dark.’ _

_ ‘You turned from the Light because Master Luke cautioned you about attachment, but you’re concerned about being too affectionate?  How is this  _ better?’

Ben never answers.  It only takes a few more of his long strides to reach the audience chamber.  “Master, I have brought Hux before you.  I beg you, teach me how to show him the truth.”

“Very good, my apprentice.  On this first day, merely enter his mind and watch what I do,” Snoke commands.

Ari feels is as Ben’s mind seeps into his own, a familiar and comforting presence even tinged with the Dark as he is now.  As much as his thoughts tell him to fight, his instinct is still to allow his entry.  When Snoke enters, however, it’s a different matter entirely.  Ari screams at the unwelcome intrusion, the Dark and burning filth of the creature inside him.  For a moment, Ben’s presence falters and recedes, but Ari senses his return seconds later, his unsettlingly dispassionate interest and hunger for more learning.

Once the first invasion is past, the pain dies away enough for Ari to focus.  Luke had shown him a few ways to deal with mind-reading when he first began to visit the temple, and he uses one now, imagining curling his entire self in as far as possible.  He visualizes the edges of his mind like a blanket, and pulls them tight to shroud the rest.  It won’t keep them out entirely – Master Luke had warned that the technique is less effective the more powerful the Force user – but it will help keep his mind from being shredded.

Still, Snoke’s presence in his mind is insidious.  Ari sees Vader’s death at the hands of his son, after he’d committed treason to save that same son from the Emperor.  Jedi overseeing the destruction of entire villages, entire  _ civilizations _ , because they refused to bow to the Republic.  The Emperor stepping in to save the galaxy from the treason of the Jedi.  The peaceful, prosperous nature of life under the Empire.  All of it is lies, and Ari knows it well, but all overlaid with a powerful Force suggestion that this is Truth.  He only need accept it and be freed.

Desperately, Ari clings to what Master Luke told him: Force suggestion only works on the weak-minded.  (He tries not to think about the fact that for most people who have a suggestion used on them, the Force user only has minutes at most to make it work.  Snoke and Ben have all the time they need, if he can’t find a way to escape.)

When he feels Ben withdraw from his mind at last, Ari is a wreck.  He feels as though he’s spent hours being pummelled by hammers, not forced to kneel in place.  It takes everything he has to merely remain on his knees.

“Master,” Ben pants, “I’m sorry, I cannot continue today.”

Snoke chuckles.  “I know.  You have done well, boy.  I am proud of you.”

In defiance of his exhaustion, Ari musters a spark of rebellion.  He spits on the floor in front of Snoke’s throne.  “Better luck next time,” he sneers sarcastically.  A jolt of mental pain has him yelping.

“Be careful how you speak to me, boy.  You live only at my sufferance, and because my apprentice is fond of you.”

He laughs wildly.  “Go ahead and kill me.  I’m not afraid of death.”   _ ‘It’s better than what you have planned for me.’ _

The creature merely chuckles once more.  “Return him to his cell for now.  I have a different exercise for you once he’s secured, apprentice.”

____________________

Ari is lying on the floor, the cool stone soothing against his overheated body.  Though the battle has remained entirely within his mind, he’s as sweaty and exhausted as if he’d just run a gruelling obstacle course.  Even through the heavy mental fog that always follows these sessions, weeks of resisting the insistent pressure of Force suggestion, he hears Snoke speaking to Ben.

“This does not appear to be the correct path to take with this one, my apprentice.  His mind is too strong, his convictions too deeply rooted.  No matter how you batter his mental barriers, he will not bend to your suggestions.  If you keep on like this, he will be useless to me.”

“But Master!” Ben protests, a spoiled boy denied a favourite treat, “you promised!”

Snoke chuckles indulgently.  “And I intend to keep that promise, my boy.  Hux has already presented an excellent teaching opportunity for mental manipulation.  Now he will be the basis for an advanced lesson.  We will use his strength of character for our benefit.  Or, you may choose to break him and keep him as a pet.”

Ari groans and tries to push himself off the floor, not liking the implications of that statement, nor the bald offer in the other.  His arms fail him before he can even get to his knees, wrung out and half-starved, and he feels heavy Force bonds forestall a second attempt.

“Even now he struggles,” Snoke sounds pleased.  “Yes, he will be an excellent tool for the First Order.”

Ari looks up to see Ben obviously considering both options.  “How would we have him serve the First Order, Master?”  Ben’s as eager as he ever was to learn from Master Skywalker.

He’s still somehow the same hopeful boy Ari fell in love with.

“Instead of trying to alter his beliefs directly, we will alter his memories.  He will remember having been raised to serve the First Order.  Within a few days, he will be able to take up his new post.”

Shuddering in horror at the cold-natured plan to rewrite his memories, Ari resolves to fight it as best he can.  But his years at the Jedi temple have taught him that, not being Force sensitive himself, he has little chance of staving off the memory alteration entirely.  And the other option doesn’t even bear thinking about.

Robes rustle against stone as Snoke shifts in his throne, probably waving a casual hand at Ari as he tends to after these sessions.  “Take him back to his cell for now; I can see you’re in no condition for further mental exertion today.”

As has become routine, Ben hefts Ari’s slim form over his shoulder to cart him back to the bare cell.  One of the Knights sweeps after them as they leave the audience chamber.  A hysterical giggle escapes Ari’s throat at the thought he could possibly be a threat at this point.  He feels Ben’s familiar mental presence probing and laughs again.

“Checking to see if I’ve cracked for good?” he asks, defiantly vocal though he knows Ben could hear a question spoken only in his mind just as well.  “I’m not going to make it that easy for you to break me, make me into the kind of  _ toy _ you want.”

* * *

Hux is twenty-four, and the youngest General in the First Order.  He stands on the bridge of his new Star Destroyer, the Finalizer, and wishes the Commandant was still alive to see his triumph.  He’s not that weak-willed little boy anymore.  The Supreme Leader has entrusted  _ him  _ to lead a team in designing a weapon that will cement the First Order’s power in the galaxy, and he will not fail.

He feels a rush of pleasure and victory when an officer delivering a status report is the first to use his new title in an everyday sense.  One might think he would derive greater feeling from the promotion ceremony, but those have too much artifice.  It’s in the daily routine of his new duties where he has an opportunity to exercise  _ real  _ power.

“General Hux, sir, the Finalizer is ready to get underway at your command,” the Lieutenant, one Datoo he believes, says with a crisp salute.

“Very good, Lieutenant.  All of our armament and engines are in good order?”

“Yessir!”

“Excellent.  In that case, lay in a course for Telos.”  Hux turns to address the bridge.  “The Supreme Leader has ordered us to annex the planet for its rich natural resources and agricultural production, that we may expand the First Order beyond the Outer Rim.”

“Yes, sir!”  His officers salute in unison before bending to their tasks.  Hux relishes their quiet competency, determined to set an example for his crew with his own efficient nature.  With that in mind, his next task is to speak to the also newly-promoted Captain Phasma.  The Stormtroopers should be prepared for the invasion.  He retires to his office off the bridge for the meeting.

Fortunately, the Captain is prompt.  It makes a favourable first impression on Hux, even more than her towering figure in gleaming chrome armour.  Clever, wearing the same gear as those under her command even as she remains unmistakeable.

“Captain Phasma, congratulations on your recent promotion.  It was well deserved.  Please, have a seat.”

He holds back a chuckle at the way she clanks into the chair.  “Thank you, General.  I hope it’s not out of place to congratulate you as well.  I look forward to serving under your command.”

One eyebrow raises in speculation at the unexpected comment.  Most would not look forward to serving under a young, untried General.  Is it mere empty flattery?

Phasma shifts in her chair at his scrutiny, her chrome armour magnifying every movement with sound.  Unexpectedly, she removes her helmet, holding it tightly in her lap.  She’s a striking woman.  White blond hair is clipped close at the sides, a little longer on top but not exceeding regulation, and frames strong-boned features.  “Sir, may I speak freely?”

Curious, he nods his assent.

She hesitates before gathering her resolve.  He understands her reluctance; speaking freely to an officer so far outranking one does not always end well.  “I understand the role of myself and my soldiers.  We are expendable, our lives meant to enhance the glory and success of the First Order.  However, you have a reputation for making sure those sacrifices are not in vain, and tactical thinking such that lives lost are minimized.  Such a leader deserves loyalty beyond that owed to the First Order.”

It’s an almost treasonous speech, but Hux will not reprimand her for it.  He is pleased that his efforts to ensure that the lives given in battle are only those necessary have been recognized by  _ someone _ .  “Thank you, Captain, I appreciate your frankness.  I hope to be able to reward your loyalty with action.”

A short inclination of her head shows his message is received.

“Now, down to business.  We will be annexing the planet Telos, on command of the Supreme Leader.”  Hux pulls up a holo map of the planet.  “We do not wish to alarm the Republic military stationed there.  As such, I have had engineering procure several cargo ships which can easily be modified for troop-carrying capabilities.  The Finalizer herself will remain in the shadow of the nearby planetoid PX-782, far enough that their sensors will not be able to distinguish her from the lifeless planet.

“From there, each Stormtrooper cargo ship will make the short jump to Telos, all having their own military target to neutralize.  We will endeavour to make these attacks as close to simultaneous as possible.  Once neutralized, TIE fighters from the Finalizer will make one last attack run on smaller military targets.  More TIEs will escort a ground force to the seat of government.  With their military gone, they will hopefully surrender quickly to an armed occupation.  If not, a few executions should change their minds, though I hope to avoid that option.

“Do you have any questions or concerns, Captain?”

Seeing her hesitate, he is quick to reassure her.  “Please, continue to speak freely.  In private, I welcome your frankness so that plans may be refined.  You know the capabilities of your troopers better than I, though I hope to familiarize myself with them soon.”

“No concerns as such, sir.  I would like to see the cargo ships in question however.  And…do you intend to accompany the landing force in any capacity?”

“Of course, Captain.  I will be joining the occupation force, to hopefully accept the surrender of their government.  It would be an insult that could provoke them into foolish violence not to have the ranking officer present.”  Hux sees she’s still disconcerted by the idea.  He’s relieved she’s left the helmet off, this meeting is far easier without needing to guess as her expressions.  Indeed, her face is particularly easy to read.  He sighs.  “If you’re concerned about my safety, I promise to remain behind your troopers until we’re certain the situation is contained.  In fact, after we tour the cargo ships, I’ll give you a demonstration of my proficiency with a blaster.”

Phasma smiles before placing her helmet on her head once more.  “No time like the present then, sir.  Unless you have prior commitments?”

Hux snorts and stands.  “Indeed, Captain.  The cargo ships in question are being held in Auxilliary Hangar D.”

* * *

Hux is twenty-five and his plans for Starkiller Base have been approved by the Supreme Leader.  It will take almost ten years to construct, but once built, it will bring the Republic to its  _ knees _ .

* * *

Hux is twenty-eight and Kylo Ren is at last released from his training by the Supreme Leader.  As General of the Finalizer, Hux considers it his duty to greet the newly dubbed Master of the Knights of Ren on the hangar deck.  Beyond protocol, they had been…companions of a sort for a time.

The bat-like Upsilon shuttle lands, only fifteen minutes behind when it had been scheduled.  Ren strides down the ramp, dramatic as ever.  Contrary to the last time Hux had seen him, he now appears to wear the signature helmet of the Knights at all times, rather than just on missions.  Unless he considers his posting to the Finalizer to be something of a permanent mission.

“Welcome aboard, Master Ren.  I must admit to being reluctantly impressed: your arrival was only fifteen minutes behind the scheduled time.  Your punctuality is improving.”  It might almost be considered a friendly tease, coming from the notoriously stiff General.

“General Hux.  It seems you have changed little in my absence.”  Left unsaid is whether this is positive or not.  Given their history, Hux would guess not.

“I aim for consistency in all aspects of my life,” is Hux’s wry rejoinder.  “My aide, second Lieutenant Mitaka, will escort you to your assigned quarters.  Is there anything else you require for the time being?”

“No, thank you, General.”  Ren inclines his head slightly, the closest Hux knows he is going to get to acknowledgment.  “However, I would like to speak to you about the future of our shared command at some point soon.”

“Of course,” comes out through gritted teeth, though it doesn’t appear in his tone.  He’s not precisely pleased to be sharing command with  _ Kylo Ren _ , but he’ll make it work.  “How would this evening work for you, say 20:00 hours?”

“That will be fine, General.”

“Excellent.  I will make myself available tonight then.”  He regrets his phrasing an instant later, but there’s nothing for it now.  “Lieutenant, if you would?  I will see you tonight, Ren.”

“Of course, General.  If you’ll follow me, sir?”  Mitaka is polite and efficient as always.

The rest of Hux’s day passes quickly, so much so that he looks at his chrono and realizes the time only twenty minutes before the Knight is due.  It’s just enough time for him to prepare a pot of tea, remembering Kylo’s abstention from alcohol, and to tidy the stack of flimsi on his desk.  Absurdly, the First Order still required physical copies of some forms, particularly promotions and death notices.  And orders of execution.

If his earlier slight delay was remarkable, it’s nothing short of miraculous when the comm at Hux’s door goes off precisely at 20:00 hours.  It’s Kylo, and he removes his helmet without being prompted once the door slides shut behind him.

“It’s good to see you again, Hux.”  Something in his awkward face softens when he scents the tea.  “I was pleased when my Master assigned me to your ship.”  He takes a deep breath.  “I understand that you’re not too happy about this shared command.  I swear, I’ll try to keep it a formality and not interfere with the running of your ship.  I believe Master mostly intended it as such anyways.  It gives me a place in the command structure that I would not otherwise have, and will hopefully ensure that my orders are followed if they need to be.”

Hux feels himself softening in return.  He is – fond – of Kylo in his own way.  Hearing that the man doesn’t intend to interfere does much to blunt his ire.  “Thank you, Kylo.  Please, have a seat.”

He pours them both tea before speaking once more.  “If any of my people fail to obey your orders, tell me.  I will sort them out immediately, and I promise, it will be the only such instance of disobedience.”

Kylo chuckles and takes a sip of his tea.  “I can certainly believe that.  The feelings on this ship all show you are held in the highest respect, General.  I know my Master is impressed by your command here.  You have accomplished much in the four years since he granted you the Finalizer.”

Hux feels his damnably pale complexion flush hot, positive reviews from superior officers one of the few things that can manage it anymore.  At least his freckles had faded with the lack of exposure to sunlight.  “Thank you, I’m pleased to hear that he is satisfied with his choice.  I know I was not the only officer under consideration.”

“Mmm, you’ve always exceeded expectations, Hux.”  Kylo leans forward, placing a hand on Hux’s.  “But are we truly going to sit here discussing command all evening?  I had thought you intended something different when you commed me with the location of your quarters.”

Hux startles back.  It had merely been a matter of habit for him to let Kylo know where his quarters were.  He’d intended to stop their dalliances, as it was a very different matter between the Master of the Knights of Ren and the General than it had been for a Lieutenant and an apprentice.  But Kylo is as forceful as ever.  It’s hard to argue when he surges forward to capture Hux in a fierce kiss.  Within moments, the larger man has swept Hux up, legs wrapped around Kylo’s waist and carrying him off to the bedroom.

He lets Hux down only to strip off his clothing.  Hux has a brief urge to cover himself when Kylo’s form is stripped of the heavy robes, his muscles only having been more refined by Snoke’s harsh training.  Hux himself hasn’t gone soft, but much of his exercise these days comes from walking the length of a Star Destroyer.  It’s only a brief urge however, his wiry form nothing to be ashamed of.

Both naked, Kylo pins Hux face down and opens him  _ too fast, too hard _ , but so  _ good _ .  It’s much the way it’s always been, the Knight’s touch edging the line between pleasure and pain, but somehow always managing to remain firmly on pleasure in what he does to Hux.  He fucks Hux hard and slow, fingerprint bruises left behind on his bony hips.  Hux spends the next day trying to hide a wince when he walks.

They argue as much in bed as out of it, but Hux considers the aches and bruises left behind a worthy sacrifice, if Kylo refrains from destroying his ship.  When they had worked together as Lieutenant and apprentice, Ren had been fond of taking out his temper on whatever inanimate object is close to hand (usually with his ridiculous lightsaber).  So far at least, similar tantrums had yet to take place on the Finalizer.

* * *

Hux is thirty-four and watching his greatest achievement crumble around him.  Even if the Supreme Leader hadn’t ordered him to collect Kylo Ren, he doesn’t think he could leave the other man to  _ this _ .  With no time to collect any troops to assist, he takes a shuttle and follows the tracker to find Kylo collapsed in the snow.  He’ll give himself time to panic about all the blood once they’re away from the planet’s explosion.

* * *

Ari is thirty-four and watching his life crumble around him as all the false memories implanted by Snoke and Ben alike tear apart at last.  Tears spill uncontrollably down his face as Ben’s uncontrolled power rips the lies to shreds.

“Oh Ben, what have you done?”

He considers setting a course for the Resistance, to offer himself up in hopes of putting  _ anything _ to rights.  But the simplest decision is to just wait.  It won’t take long, not with Starkiller becoming a star once more…


	2. Chapter 2

Ari is thirty-four and he’s chosen not to take the easy way out.  The small shuttle comes out of hyperspace near D’Qar, and immediately he’s broadcasting his surrender.  One lone X-Wing flies up to escort him to the surface, the black paint job marking it as the one who’d destroyed the oscillator.  He’ll have to thank the pilot, if Starkiller hadn’t been destroyed…

When the shuttle touches down, Ari stumbles out and falls to his knees, wrapping his long arms around the once-familiar form of Leia Organa.  She’s short enough that he can still tuck his head just under her chin as he sobs with the knowledge of what the man they both love has done.  And what he’s done himself because of it.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” he repeats endlessly, only peripherally aware of the Resistance soldiers staring at General Hux collapsed and tearful at General Organa’s feet.  When he regains control enough, he mutters, “I brought Kylo Ren too.  He’s unconscious and badly wounded in the shuttle.”

Without looking up, he can feel Leia’s gesture to the soldiers milling around them.  “Get Kylo Ren to the medbay, but whatever you do, don’t allow him to regain consciousness.  We can’t afford to have an uncontrolled Dark Force user on our base.  If we have any Force suppressants, use them.”

He has a feeling he knows what it costs her to order this for her son, but she’s not wrong.  Resistance members scurry into the shuttle and retreat with Kylo Ren held between them until a medical transport arrives to carry them all away.

It’s only when the chaos dies down that a gentle touch on the red hair hanging in his eyes has him looking up to meet Leia’s sorrowful gaze.  “Oh, Ari, what happened to you?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know who I was,” he chokes out.  “Snoke and…and Ben…they…”

Her hands are soothing as they stroke his hair and back.  “Shhh, we’ll figure it out.”  Leia glances around, for the first time truly registering that they are still in the middle of the landing field.  “But this is neither the time nor the place for this conversation.  I can feel that you’re exhausted and heartsick.  We will speak tomorrow, once you have a chance to sleep and eat.”

He nods weakly and clings to her, hoping that he can do something to fix himself, and everything he did for the Order.  She’s stability, her regal poise and calm unchanged in the ten years since he had seen her last.

Leia chuckles, the sound bittersweet.  “Ari, you need to stand up first.”

Embarrassed, he scrambles hastily to his feet, apologizing once again.  The control he held over himself as Hux has completely vaporized along with Starkiller Base, and he’s glad of it.

One hand on his arm, Leia escorts him into the base.  “I’m sure you understand, Ari, but I’ll have to put a guard at your door.  It’s as much for your protection as it is for the Resistance.  I have no idea what’s happened to you these last ten years, but I can sense that you did not leave us willingly.  Others will not be able to feel the same things I can, and there’s a great deal of fear and hatred lingering after the destruction of the Hosnian system.”

Ari’s tears start anew with the reminder.  “Oh stars, General, how am I  _ ever _ going to start making up for what I’ve done?  Honestly, whatever you decide to do with me is more than fair.  I was half-expecting to be executed as soon as I landed.  Wait… is my mum alright?  She wasn’t on Hosnian Prime, was she?”

She pushes him into an alcove along the wide hallway of the base.  “Stop.  Your mother is fine, away on Coruscant helping organize an interim government.  So just stop thinking for now, Ari.  You’re exhausted and overwrought.  Tomorrow, you and I will sit down, and from there we’ll take it one step at a time.”  She pauses, clearly thinking.  “Poe, could you please meet me at room 1008 of the barracks?” she speaks into her comm.

“Of course, General,” Poe’s reply crackles through.

“Thank you.”  Leia returns to drawing Ari along.  “I’ll have Dr. Kalonia send over a sleeping aid for you.  Somehow, I doubt you’ll be getting any sleep otherwise.”

“Stars, that would be wonderful.  But you may want to re-think your choice of guard.  I doubt Mr. Dameron will be particularly well-disposed towards me after being tortured by the First Order.”

Leia merely smiles.  “I think you might be surprised.”

They arrive at the barracks room before he can protest further.  Poe has yet to arrive, so Leia gives him a brief tour of the quarters.  There’s not much to see, though the reason these were chosen in particular quickly becomes clear.  They must be for officers or visitors, because not only is there a bedroom with attached fresher unit, there’s also a room with a couch and two comfortable chairs.  And it’s distant from the rest of the occupied units.  The perfect place to keep a not-quite-enemy with some discretion.

No sooner has Ari collapsed onto one of the chairs than Poe knocks on the door.  He expects to be shot on sight, but Poe merely nods to him before turning to Leia.

“You asked for me, General?”

“Yes, thank you, Poe.  Please, have a seat.”

With no visible sign of reluctance, the pilot seats himself in the chair next to Ari. 

“I’m not sure how much you caught of that…unusual scene outside once you’d landed, but we have a rather peculiar situation on our hands.  Not only has Ben returned, but this is Ari.  It seems he wasn’t particularly willing to join the First Order, though I don’t have any details yet.”

Poe chuckles.  “You can say that again, General.  Wait, Ari?   _ Ben’s _ Ari?  The redhead he wouldn’t shut up about whenever I had the chance to talk to him?”

Ari does a double-take.  With everything that had been going on, he’d completely overlooked the fact that he’s heard Poe’s name before.  Ben had spoken fondly of the one friend he’d had before Ari, though usually their friendship remained a long-distance one.

“You’re  _ that _ Poe?  Kriff, how could Ben ever have hurt you like that?” he blurts out, before remembering what Ben had done to Ari himself.

“Ben’s done a lot that we never thought he could,” Poe says darkly.  “But how is it that you’re just remembering me now?  We did meet briefly on the Finalizer like two weeks ago, right?”

Sighing, Ari scrubs a hand through his hair.  The tacky feeling of gel disgusts him, he’ll have to take advantage of the sanistream even before he sleeps.  “We met, but you could say I was not myself.  I promise, I’ll explain it all in detail, though that will likely take quite some time.  The gist of it though is that Ben, with Snoke’s help, replaced all my memories.  I believed I had been raised to serve the First Order.  That I had never known any other life.”

Leia and Poe’s faces are pictures of horror.  “How?”

“Don’t worry, I doubt it’s been done to anyone else.  It was an incredibly time-intensive process, and they only resorted to it because Force suggestion didn’t work.”

“If it held for ten years…”

“Why did it break now?  I think it was because Ben was unconscious and badly injured when I found him on Snoke’s orders.  By the time I had gotten him to the shuttle, his power was lashing out without direction.  As far as I can guess, that ripped apart the false memories.  We’d have to ask a trained Force user to be certain though.”

“How can you…?” Poe begins to ask, sympathy written on his open face, but Leia interrupts him.

“I know you’re eager to learn more, as am I.  But Ari is in no condition to be telling his story tonight.”

Ari hunches in on himself, the brief burst of energy from needing to explain dissipating.  “Thank you, General.”

“Poe, I understand you’ve had a long day as well.  I hate to ask you this, but would you act as a guard for Ari?  I believe he’s telling the truth.  Others will not be so willing, and it would help to be able to say he’s been under guard and has done nothing suspicious.”

“And you’re also being cautious in case someone wants to take revenge against General Hux, I understand.”  Poe nods firmly, “I would be happy to stand guard tonight.”

“If the two of you don’t mind, I’d like to excuse myself to use the fresher?” Ari interjects quietly.

Leia rubs a hand over her face.  “Of course, I should have thought of that.  I’ll send for the sleep aid and clean clothing while you wash, Poe can bring them in to you.”

He turns to leave, but Leia halts him with an anxious, “wait, Ari!  I don’t need to…you aren’t planning to…harm yourself, are you?”

“I…no,” he looks back over his shoulder, gaze calm and steady.  “I had considered letting Starkiller’s destruction take me, but…  Honestly, I don’t feel that my life is my own.  After all I did – I have a responsibility to use the knowledge from being Hux to stop the First Order.  Death is the easy way out.”

Leia and Poe are left mute, and Ari excuses himself quietly.

Ari’s sanistream is perfunctory at best, too tired to do more than hastily scrub himself off and towel dry.  A quiet knock alerts him to Poe’s presence.  The other man simply hands him the pile of soft clothing and sleep aid.

“I hope you can get some rest, Ari.”

“Thank you, Mr. Dameron.  Would you like a blanket or pillow to take with you?  I’m sure there’s a spare around here somewhere.”   _ ‘Probably best to be polite.’ _

Poe snorts.  “Just call me Poe.  Mr. Dameron makes me sound  _ ancient _ .  And no, I’m fine without, that couch is pretty comfy.”

He’s gone as quietly as he entered, leaving Ari alone once more.  He drops the towel from around his waist and dresses in the soft green shirt and grey draw-string pants, likely workout gear.  To no longer have the First Order uniform as his sole option leaves him beyond grateful, and not simply because it’s ashy and blood-soaked.

Whether the sleep aid is simply that effective, or his own body is too worn for even nightmares, Ari drops off almost immediately to sleep.

____________________

The next day finds Ari and Leia sitting in the anteroom once again, with Poe lingering hopefully by the door, a small BB unit at his feet.  Taking in the curious expression on the pilot’s face, Ari sighs.  “You might as well stay, Poe.  You know the basics anyways.  And given how justified people here are in hating me, it would be nice to have another ally.”

Poe waves his hand in dismissal.  “I’d be that even if you didn’t tell me anything further.  I’m pleased that you’re willing to trust me though.”

“All the more reason to let you stay.”  Ari pauses for a moment to reflect on how strange it is that he really  _ is _ willing to trust Poe.  Perhaps it’s that Ben’s betrayal is just too sweeping, taking ten years of his life.  It doesn’t yet feel real.

He turns to Leia.  “Before we begin…” he hesitates, not truly sure if he wants an answer, “…I have a question for you.”

“Of course, Ari.”

“…when I was in the Citadel, I kept thinking that Ben would come to his senses and get me out.  But when I wasn’t stupidly dreaming of  _ that, _ I hoped that the Resistance would.  Did you even try to find me?” Ari asks plaintively.

“To be frank, no.”  At his supressed sob, Leia leans forward and rests her hand on his.  “I’m sorry, Ari, but we honestly believed you to be dead.  No one else who was there that day survived, and some of the dead were…unrecognizable.  We only found out you were alive when we intercepted a morale video with General Hux, and I’m sure you realize why we wouldn’t try to retrieve you at that point.”

“…you thought I’d joined the First Order willingly.”

“We know very little about the capabilities of Force users, particularly those allied to the Dark.  Luke is trying to rebuild our knowledge, but so much was lost in the Purge…  Before I felt the remnants of it, I had no idea that what they did to you was even  _ possible _ .”

Pushing his hurt down deep, Ari recognizes there’s nothing they could have done.  He swallows around the pain and begins to tell his story, voice going remote and almost mechanical as he tries to distance himself from what had been done to his mind.  If there are shades of General Hux in his tone…well, he’s willing to use the monster as a shield.

“I was in the Citadel for at least two months, kept in a small cell with a chain around my ankle.  I quickly figured out there was no way to escape.  When I wasn’t in the cell, Ben and one of the Knights were with me at all times.

“The first several weeks Ben and Snoke spent trying to break my mind enough that I would accept Force suggestions about my loyalty to the Order while not damaging my intelligence.  It seemed Ben promised him my engineering skill would make me useful, so he was allowed to keep me.  When that didn’t work, he was offered two options: memory replacement, or breaking my mind to keep me as a pet.”

Silent until that point, both Leia and Poe cry out in horror.  Ari cuts them off with a sharp wave of his hand before they can say anything.

“Please, this is difficult enough to speak of.  I’d prefer if you didn’t try to comfort me after either, I’m not ready for that.  I think it might be the thing to break me.”

“Of course, whatever you need,” Leia responds, voice hoarse with emotion.

Ari resumes speaking as if he had never been interrupted.  “I’m not certain if I feel fortunate or not that he chose memory replacement.  I certainly pleaded with him that day to kill me rather than do so.  I told him he’d be killing me anyways, killing the person I was.  Ben’s answer was that he loved me, and could never think of ending my life.  It would all be alright once I believed in the Dark side.

“The next day they started building my memories from the ground up, but it wasn’t as easy as Snoke had anticipated.  It took almost three weeks until ‘Hux’ was in place.  Every time they started to lay a foundation for the new memories, my mind would point out some inconsistency and they’d have to start again.  Snoke had thought that the gaps would fill themselves in rather than create opportunities to break out.  Another week after was spent solidifying the persona and ensuring he knew everything he would need to.

“When I left the Citadel as Major Hux, Ben went with me to keep an eye on my false memories, and also to plant some in those I was working with.  I was working as a sharpshooter much of the time, and a strategist.  Those in the First Order actually envied me for my regular interactions with not only the Leader’s apprentice, but the Leader himself.

“After a few months had passed and my presence had been accepted within the Order, I was given the rank of General.  I was ordered to design a superweapon for Snoke.  The next year, I presented him with the designs for Starkiller.  You can probably gather the rest for yourselves.”

Beneath his numb delivery, Ari can feel himself begin to shake from the emotional toll.  He realizes he’s been running his fingers through his hair the whole time, and it probably closely resembles a bird’s nest by now.  He tugs absently on a red lock while he tries not to sob.

Though Poe and Leia are clearly bursting with questions, they’re honouring his request.  Both stand and turn to leave.

“Wait – the scavenger, is she still here?”

Poe spins and his face is hard for the first time that day.  “Her name is  _ Rey _ .  I’d suggest you get used to using it.”

Ari holds his hands up in defense.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.  It’s the only name I have to use for her.  Same for the Stormtrooper I understand has joined your ranks.”

A friendly man, Poe’s face softens immediately with the explanation.  “It’s Finn, now.  And yes, he’s joined us.  Though he’s in the medbay, Kylo Ren damaged him rather badly.”

“I am truly sorry to hear that.  General Hux saw the Wookiee helping to carry him as I arrived to fetch Kylo.”  How strange it is, to almost be two separate people, his instincts as Ari almost totally at odds with the General.  The only thing they share is the desire to protect their people.

“What did you want to ask, Ari?” Leia inquires.

“If she doesn’t mind, and with your permission, General, I’d like to thank her.  If she hadn’t defeated Ben…”

Leia smiles.  “I understand, Ari.  She’s a remarkable young woman, I’m certain she wouldn’t mind meeting with you.”  She turns to Poe, “Commander, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to ask you to remain here until I can find another guardian who isn’t inclined to shoot Ari on sight.”

“I was hoping to go check on Finn.”  When Leia’s face hardens, he sighs.  “Understood, General.”

With Leia gone, Ari glances up from where he’s been studying his hands when Poe collapses onto the couch.  “I’m sorry, Poe.  I know watching over me can’t be a pleasant task.”

“No, no,” Poe waves his hands frantically, “it’s not like that.  I actually kind of like you, Ari.  I’m just frustrated, because the last time I saw Finn he had a two foot gash in his back and the medics were working on him.”

Tension broken, the manage to settle into a quiet understanding.  Both starship enthusiasts, they pass the time talking engineering until a knock on the door startles them out of an involved discussion of the split-wing design of the X-Wing.

Poe gestures Ari into the bedroom.  “Just while I check they’re supposed to be here,” he whispers.  Ari quickly obeys.

He can’t hear the words clearly, but a light, female voice greets Poe happily at the door.  They speak for a few moments before he hears the door close and Poe call out for him.

It’s Rey.  She startles back, face going cold when she sees him, but is quick to master her reaction.

“It’s nice to truly meet you, Rey.  I’m sorry our earlier introduction was less than pleasant.”

She has a lovely smile.  “That’s alright, Ari.  The General explained a little of why when she asked me if I could take over for Poe, here.”  She turns to the pilot.  “Tell that lump Finn to get up, why don’t you?  Why should he get to laze around all day?”

Startled by her rounded Core vowels now that he can hear her clearly, Ari wonders just how she wound up a scavenger on Jakku.  He knows better than to ask.

Poe is quick to say his farewells and duck out.  Ari has no idea how the pilot and the renegade ‘Trooper became close so quickly, but he’s glad of it.  After life in the First Order…Finn will need help adjusting.  With their common point of reference gone, Ari and Rey sit in awkward silence for long moments.  He has no idea how to say what he wants, and supposes she still doesn’t know what to make of him.

“So…the General said you had something to say to me?”  Rey summons her courage first.

“Yes…I – I wanted to thank you for taking down Kylo Ren, on Starkiller.”

“What?”  Rey startles back, eyes huge.  “Why?”

“Leia told you I’d had my memories forcibly replaced?”  With her hesitant nod, he continues.  “It was because of his defeat that his Force powers became uncontrolled, which seems to have been what ripped apart the lie I’d been living for the past ten years.  You quite literally saved my life, Rey.  Thank you.”

____________________

Allowed to leave the small room he’d been confined to at last, Ari rejoices.  Though it was for the best of reasons, it had begun to feel like the cell back at the Citadel.  He wasn’t allowed to leave alone, but he wouldn’t have wanted to anyways.

Poe is kind enough to allow him to work on his X-Wing.  At least it seems like kindness until he gets a look at it.

“Kriffing Sith-spawn, Poe!  Who’s been doing your maintenance?”

The pilot winces.  “That bad?”

Ari is incredulous.  “This looks like it’s been repaired by a blind Trandoshan with only one hand.  I knew the Resistance was short on resources, but this…”

“Uhh, it’s not that we’re short on parts for it,” Poe scratches the back of his head sheepishly.  “We don’t have many engineers, so I volunteered to do my own maintenance.”

BB-8 bumps into Ari’s leg, beeping a plea to help Poe before he blows himself up.

Looking once more at the mess before him, Ari sighs.  “I might as well teach you how to do it properly then.”  It’s something to keep himself busy while he waits for Rey and the Falcon to be ready to go after Master Luke.  Watching him, Jess Pava has already asked if he could take a look at her ship as well.

He’d offer to help with the Falcon, but with Han gone…he understands why Chewie feels the need to take care of it himself.

It’s only after they head off to find Luke that he realizes the first day of his freedom on base had also been his lifeday.

____________________

The night before they leave for Ach-To, Ari can’t postpone making a comm call to his mum any longer.  He’s terrified of what she’ll say to him.  Truth be told, he shouldn’t have put it off for this long.  Not when he has important information about which Senators are secretly serving the First Order.  Not when most of the survivors are probably among this traitorous group. 

But he knows Maratelle Hux.  Even if they had made their move, she would have found a way to shut them down.

The call connects, and he sees her face for the first time in too many years.  When she sees him, she gasps, her hand flying to her mouth.

“Mum?  I’ve – I’ve come home, Mum.”

“Ari?  It’s really you?”  Tears well up in her eyes, and he can feel his own responding.  He hasn’t seen her cry since they spent days in the medbay by his father’s side, waiting for the end.

“It’s really me, Mum.  I’m so sorry…” he trails off as he can’t even find words for the magnitude of all he needs to apologize for.

“Oh, mo chroí.  What  _ happened? _  Why did you just disappear?”

Whatever his reluctance to face her, words come spilling out of his mouth as he tries to explain years of silence.  Years in which she probably had to face suspicion and distrust on the Senate floor because her son was General Hux.  He can’t even imagine what it was like for her.  Wondering where she had gone wrong that her son would turn away.

When his words fall away, she’s crying in earnest.  “Mo chroí, my beautiful, brilliant son.  I’m sorry that the one you love took such advantage of your trust.”

‘Love’, not ‘loved’.  Somehow she still understands that it’s not so easy to root Ben out of his heart.

“I wish I could be there in person to welcome you home.  You must be strong, love.  I know you must blame yourself, but your actions were not your fault.”

She heaves a sorrowful sigh, running a hand through hair which has threads of silver running through it now.  “I want so much to see you.  But I cannot leave, and you cannot come here.” 

“I understand, Mum.  If General Hux arrived, there would be panic and demands for my execution.  I’ve been fortunate that the Resistance seems content to watch me warily.”

Ari would love to lose himself in hearing the last ten years of her life, but he has vital information to share.  “Mum, I…still remember everything from being General Hux.  Do you have some sort of police force there that would listen to you?  Because many of the surviving Senators are secretly loyal to the First Order, and they will need to be taken care of.”

The softness of her high-boned face becomes calculating, the keen tactical mind which Ari had inherited going to work.  They spend the rest of the night planning the best way to catch the traitorous Senators by surprise, hopefully while causing them to betray their true alliances.  It’s dawn by the time their call ends, but despite his exhaustion, Ari feels better than he has since returning to himself.

_ “She doesn’t blame me.” _

* * *

Ari is thirty-five and seeing Master Luke for the first time in eleven years.  He wants to fall on his knees and beg forgiveness the same way he had with Leia.  Not just for all that he had done as Hux.  Luke had welcomed him into his temple, offered him a path, and Ari had failed him.  He hadn’t seen Ben’s darkness, hadn’t stopped the massacre of all the padawans he’d come to care for.

Following his impulse, his knees hit the rocky soil.  “Master Luke, I’m so sorry.  I should have seen, should have known.”  Ari’s head bows in contrition.

Luke strides forward, pulling Ari to his feet and into a hug.  All Ari can do is clutch at the older man, feeling tears drip down his face. 

“For a long time, I blamed myself too, Ari.  That’s why I left.  I thought that if I was such a failure as a teacher and a Jedi, then I was only a danger to be around.  Particularly when the men in my family have such a draw to the Dark side.”  A calloused hand tilts Ari’s chin up and forces him to meet Luke’s kind blue eyes.  “But the conclusion I have come to in my long years of seclusion is that the ultimate fault lies with Ben.  We do not yet know how much Snoke influenced him, but the fact remains that he did not fall until he was an adult and capable of making his own decisions.”

“But then  _ I _ …”

Blue eyes bore into his soul.  “Your situation is very different, Ari.  You did not go willingly, nor did you choose what was done to you.  I could feel the pain of it once your ship jumped into range.”

Unsure how to react, Ari falls back on distraction.  He releases Luke and turns, drawing the woman behind him forward with a gesture.

“This is Rey, Master Luke.  She’s strong with the Force, and needs your guidance.”

She and Luke meet gazes, clearly sizing each other up.  Getting to know Rey better during his time on D’Qar, he understands how difficult it is for her to trust in others.  Against all odds, she seems to be finding some in him.

Despite his avowed realization that what happened was not his fault, Ari can see Luke falter at the idea of taking another student.  He and Rey will be good for each other.  Luke is nothing if not trustworthy, and if Rey were going to fall to the Dark, surely she would have done so already with the brutal grind of life on Jakku.

Rey can probably sense his hesitance, but Luke puts on a strong front as he steps past Ari and holds out his hand.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rey.”  He closes his eyes to probe at the edges of her Force presence, “I can see Ari was correct, the Force surrounds you powerfully.  I look forward to helping you learn what you may accomplish using it.”

“…can you do so without entering my mind?”

Luke is clearly startled.  “Of course.  Though we will likely form a training bond, I will never enter your mind without your knowledge and consent.  Why would you think otherwise?  ”

“Kylo Ren offered to teach me, but he was pushing at the edges of my mind at the same time.  I thought it might be part of the training.”

“Knowing his manipulations as I do,” Ari interjects, “it was likely he was trying to force you to agree.”

“Ah.”  Rey’s voice is flat.  It brightens with her next question.  “What’s a ‘training bond’?”

“It’s a natural bond that tends to form between teacher and student in the Force.  The old Jedi Order did not consider a Master and padawan a true team unless they formed one, but the bond forms naturally or not at all.  It was part of why padawan selection was so important.

“What travels along the bond depends on those involved.  Only strong feelings for a weak one, those with a powerful connection might have entire conversations silently.  I assure you, the bond goes both ways, I would feel nothing from you which you would not also receive from me.  And we would not be in each other’s minds, the bond is in the Force.”

Reassured, Rey nods.  “In that case, Master Luke, please accept me as your student.”  She starts suddenly and begins to rummage through her satchel.  It only takes a moment for her hand to withdraw holding a lightsaber. 

“And I was told this is yours.”  An impish smile quirks her mouth.  “It might be useful, if you’re to train me.

Luke chuckles.  “It will indeed.  Thank you.”

The Jedi ushers them into the hut he’s been occupying on Ach-To and pours them both tea.  The next hours are spent simply talking, much about what Luke has learned about the Force.  Though not a Force user, Ari has picked up a certain sensitivity for it through extensive exposure.  The last edges of the tension he holds are smoothed away by Luke’s familiar presence.  It’s certain to return, but he welcomes the reprieve.

____________________

Luke insists that he needs to stay on Ach-To for another week before they can leave.  Something about communing with the Force from a place of purity.  To his shame, it’s only the last day before they’re due to leave that Ari manages to ask Luke for something he’s known he should since the day after Starkiller.

“…Master Luke?”

“Yes, Ari?”  Luke looks up from packing what little he has with him.

“I –“  Ari finds himself running his hands through his hair in agitation.  “Will you look through my mind and make sure Ben and Snoke didn’t leave anything…unpleasant behind?  I would hate to trip a trigger, and suddenly General Hux is in the middle of the Resistance base.”

Luke turns and gives Ari his full attention, seating himself on the chest he had just been packing.  “Are you certain?  I can feel how afraid you are of allowing anyone inside your head again.  You’ve been through enough.”

Ari swallows hard, but nods.  “I  _ have _ to be certain.”  He gives the older man a wry smile.  “If I don’t ask now, Leia will later.  And she would be right.”

“You’re a brave man, Ari.  Would you mind if I asked Rey to sit in for this?  It’s likely you’re correct, and there are no others who have had their memories altered like you have.  But just in case, she should learn how to recognize the feeling.”

He’s reluctant to have another presence in his mind, but he does like Rey.  And she knows the weight of betrayal.  His nod of agreement is firm.

“Thank you.  I’ll be right back, so just take a few moments to compose yourself.”

When Luke returns with Rey, she looks almost as apprehensive as Ari feels.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

Ari’s smile up at her is shaky but genuine.  “I guess I like you enough to let you in my head,” his attempt to tease is weak at best.

She seats herself next to him, across from Luke.  Seeing her continued tension, Ari offers her his hand.  Rey almost crushes his fingers with the force of her grip.

In the end, the whole thing is rather anticlimactic.  Luke guides Rey into a light meditative state, Ari sinking in as he hasn’t since living in the temple.  He’s not certain how Luke does it, but he can feel the both of them around the edges of his mind.  The meditation makes it unclear how much time has passed, but he’s clear-headed when the Jedi leads them both back to normal consciousness.

“That was so strange.”  Rey is the first to break the silence.  “I was seeing your memories, but not really?  The false ones  _ felt  _ torn, like a spriden’s web after someone walks through it.  Your mind feels warm, Ari.  I liked it.”

“So, was there anything left?”  Ari asks hesitantly.

Luke’s weathered face creases in a broad smile, teeth flashing from his thick beard.  “No tricks, no traps.  I’m not sure how Ben’s power tore through them like that, but it was enough for your true memories to reassert themselves.”

His voice is softer when he continues.  “You fought, even subconsciously, for ten years, Ari.  I could feel the false memories layered over and over, more than it ever would have taken to implant them.  Snoke must have been reinforcing General Hux at least every two weeks.  Your mind always knew something was wrong.”

Ari almost can’t believe it.  It seems too much like what he’d want to hear: that somehow even with two powerful Force users working at his mind, he’d never been entirely changed.  That somehow, his Force blind self had fought back.  His guilt is less than he’d thought.

For some part of him has wondered if he really was Hux, after living as him for a decade.  Wouldn’t that mean he’s guilty for everything he had done?  That the only choice that had been taken from him was having his memories replaced, and everything after that were his own decisions.  Hearing that Snoke was more or less using him as a figurehead the entire time…he’s not sure how to feel.

His own voice comes from a great distance.  “I – thank you.  I need some space to think.”  Ari’s feet carry him down one of the winding paths which dot Ach-To, until he finally perches on a cliff overhanging the rough seas.

He’s not sure how long he sits there before Rey’s light footsteps pad down the path behind him.

“I wasn’t expecting to like you, you know.”  Her clear voice carries above the winds.

Red hair whipping in his eyes, he turns to watch the rest of her descent.  Wondering, above all, why she had chosen to speak of  _ liking _ him.

“I was expecting to listen to whatever you had to say to me and go back to thinking of you as that cold man who stared me down on the Finalizer.”  Rey seats herself beside him, curling her arms around her legs with her chin on her knees.  She stares out to sea as she continues to speak.  “I didn’t think talking to you would be so easy.  I didn’t think I’d be able to relate to you.

“I met General Hux, however briefly.  I was expecting him, just on the side of the Resistance.  But you, Ari, you’re nothing like him.  I think you can trust yourself.”

“Thanks, Rey.”  Ari’s voice comes out hoarse.  “I just, I almost want to ask Luke to wipe my memories of  _ being _ him.  But we’ll need those, if we’re going to save the galaxy.”

Struck by a sudden thought, he chuckles.  “Not like that sounds totally overblown and dramatic.  At least with my beard growing in, I don’t look so much the uptight officer anymore.  Maybe I’ll have to grow my hair long enough I can tie it back.”

Rey laughs, looking at him in evaluation.  “You know, I think that just might suit you.”

____________________

Ilum is an icy wasteland below as the Falcon comes in for a landing.  It gives Ari unpleasant flashbacks to Starkiller.  At least those around him are soothing reminders that he’s not the General any longer, Luke’s familiar Force presence offering calm at the edges of his consciousness.

Luke leads the way to the caves in solemn silence, Chewbacca choosing to remain behind with the ship.  (From what Ari understands of Shyriiwook, he’s complaining about having to go out in the cold again.)  When they reach the entrance to the crystal caverns, Ari has every intention of keeping Luke company while Rey hunts for her crystals, but the Jedi nods him in with a gentle smile.

“But Master Luke, I’m not a Jedi?”  It emerges as a question, Ari so unsure about what Luke intends.

Whatever he’s expecting, it’s not laughter.  “You may not have the Force, but you lived among Jedi for several years.  You dedicated your time to helping them reach their full potential, even at the expense of the plans you had held to join the Republic fleet.  I know you will continue such selfless service now in the name of the Resistance.  What else do you think a Jedi is?”

The words set off something deep inside Ari, a voiceless desire for that path.  When he glances up, Luke is nodding, as if hearing his thoughts and agreeing.

“But how can I choose a crystal?  I thought you were meant to sense the right one through the Force.”

“Don’t worry, Ari.  My own Master visited me last night, and assured me that you would find what you need.  The Force will find a way to speak to you.”

Rey and Ari set out into the cave together, but her path quickly diverges from where his instincts are guiding him.  He returns to the antechamber some hours later, colourless kyber crystal in hand.  Rey is not long after him.

“Very good, both of you.  Once we’re back on D’Qar, I’ll guide you in constructing your weapons.”

What Luke didn’t take into account is that they’re both engineers at heart.  It’s not long before both of them are making refinements to the standard weapon designs that Luke knows.  Here, ‘Hux’ comes in handy for the first time.  Ari may be an engineer, but he hadn’t intended to become a weapons designer.

The Jedi does still aid greatly in focusing their kyber crystals however.  He only has to show Rey how to concentrate the Force in hers.  For Ari, he does something rather unusual.

“Traditionally, Jedi meditate over their crystals until they become attuned to that Jedi’s Force resonance.  While anyone can use the weapon after this step, the Jedi who tuned the crystal will always have the best connection.  Since you cannot access the Force, we’re going to try something else.”

“Something else?”

“With your permission, I will need to link to your mind for this,” Luke’s face is solemn.  “If you agree, we’ll both slip into meditation, and I will focus the crystal, but through you.  You should be able to feel my Force energies flowing through  _ you _ , where they’ll change to match your own resonance, and into the crystal.”

This makes about as much sense as any of Luke’s more esoteric pronouncements about the Force, so Ari goes along with it.  He has an unshakeable trust for the older man, and it’s not like he has any other options if he wants to have a useful weapon.  It does seem to work, in the end.

By the time they’re finished, Rey has a double-bladed staff which closely resembles her old one.  The shaft is about three feet long, necessitating two crystals.  It’s that which had made her search a longer one.  While they’re working one day, Rey shares with him why.

“I found my first crystal rather quickly.  I was prepared to head back, but it was almost like something was calling me deeper into the caverns.  I searched for what must have been hours, until at last I turned a corner and felt it.  The two of them together, I knew they belonged that way.”  Now that she has accepted the Force, Rey is an endless well of enthusiasm for everything Luke throws at her.  “Sometimes it seems like I can hear them talking to each other at night, so they’ll never be lonely.”

As much time as he spends around Force users, there’s a mystic element that still escapes him.

Ari’s own saber is a minimalist cylinder that fits in his hand perfectly.  He had used training sabers at Luke’s temple growing up, but this is the first one that hasn’t felt awkward in some way.  There’s a growing ache within to power it on.  To be able to train to stand against the Knights and Snoke as their equal, at least on one level.

* * *

Ari is thirty-six and the final confrontation with Snoke is approaching at last.  He’s been working with both Luke and Rey on what he remembers of not only Kylo’s style, but the rest of the Knights as well.  At least those they haven’t already dealt with.  By his count, there are only three of the original seven still with the First Order.

Does Snoke even  _ wield  _ a lightsaber?  None of them know, but they aren’t taking any chances.

Poe and Finn join them occasionally, but today it’s just Ari, Rey, and Luke.  Ari is the first to ignite his lightsaber, a pale jade that closely matches the colour of his eyes.  He’d asked Luke what it meant the first time he’d seen the colour.

_ “It’s because I focused the crystal through you.  Had you been Force sensitive yourself, it would have been bright green.  The alteration made the colour less vivid.” _

Rey’s face still lights up with wonder when the brilliant blue and green blades of her blade staff ignite.  They alternate, but that morning it’s Ari facing off against Rey and Luke both.  When he had first suggested it, Luke was rather opposed to the idea.  Two Force users against him?  Of course he’d be outmatched.

Since that was precisely the idea, Ari pointed out that the Knights of Ren would have no such hesitations, and Rey and Luke might not always be able to watch his back.  After that, there wasn’t much else Luke could say.

Both Jedi attack in unison, blue blades flashing forwards as he raises his own in a classic Soresu defense.  Ari ducks and twists, sliding his saber under Luke’s and forcing him back before turning on Rey and smoothly switching to Makashi.  He manages only a few feints before Luke regains his footing.  Blocks and dodges blur together, Ari scarcely getting a moment to think under their combined onslaught.  He’s dripping with sweat in minutes.  But he’s keeping up.

When at last Rey and Luke pull back, Ari is half-way through a swirling block.  He’s following through before he realizes the resistance is gone.  Panting, he pulls out of the lunge, swiping sweat-darkened red hair out of his eyes.  His other hand powers down his saber.  They’re finished, at least the first bout.  Ari uses the pause to take out his tail and tie back the hair that had fallen out.

But looking at Luke, the elder Jedi has a different look in his blue eyes.  “Did you feel it?”

Slowly, Ari nods.  “Something felt different today.”

“We were totally in tune there for awhile,” Rey chimes in.

“You’re ready.  It’s time.”

Luke’s pronouncement sends a shiver up Ari’s spine.  It’s what he’s wanted since the day Ben first dragged him before Snoke – to destroy that evil creature before it can do any more harm.  To finally be prepared…  He’s been working towards this for a year and a half now.  Saber training with Rey and Luke, flying missions with Poe, teaching Finn all the little tricks of command they never showed the ‘Troopers.  It’s a good routine, and now it’s all going to change again, for better or worse.

The next few days are a whirlwind of planning and preparations.  It’s not just them; the entire Resistance will be making a coordinated strike against what remains of the First Order’s forces.  They can’t risk anyone coming to Snoke’s aid. 

Fortunately, the Order is much reduced.  It turns out, having a member of the Resistance who was a General in your enemy’s forces is a massive strategic advantage.  Even more so when he was responsible for much of the propaganda.  Not long after returning to himself, Ari had made one last holofilm for the Stormtroopers, Finn by his side.  The result was the defection of a large number of ‘Troopers, and no few officers as well.  Ari had been startled by the personal loyalty Hux had earned, but glad of it as well.  However necessary, he doesn’t want to be responsible for taking any more lives.

Though he’ll make an exception for Snoke.

____________________

Hovering in orbit waiting for the final ‘go’, Ari stares down at the barren and scarred surface of Snoke’s planet, and muses on how perfect of a reflection of the creature squatting there it is.  He hadn’t really registered much of the planet the first time he’d been brought here.  But it’s the coordinates Luke had been able to pull from his memory which allowed this attack.

Finally, the confirmation comes that the Resistance has begun their simultaneous attack on the First Order’s last two  _ Resurgent _ -class Star destroyers, and their sole remaining ground base.  It’s time to land.

They aren’t really trying for a surprise attack.  Snoke should have felt the approach of two Jedi, and this is a particularly desolate area of space.  There’s nothing close enough for them to try to conceal their presence.

Luke closes his eyes as Hux guides the Falcon in for a landing.  “They’re here,” he announces.  “I can feel the final three Knights waiting outside.  Snoke is…on his throne.”

“One for each of us,” Rey grins fiercely.  “Let’s teach that creep Snoke what it means to mess with you, Ari.”

Warmed by her determined loyalty, Ari returns her grin.  “Shall we go kick some Dark side arse then?”

Luke just shakes his head and chuckles at the pair of them.

The boarding ramp of the Falcon hisses open, and they stride down onto the ruined surface of the planet.  Facing them are the three remaining Knights of Ren.  Ari makes sure to position himself across from the one known as the Rogue, who had delighted in mocking him during his time in the Citadel. 

“Think you’re a  _ Jedi _ now, little General?” the hated voice hisses mockingly through the vocoder.  “When we all know you’re just Kylo’s pet?”

Ari merely snorts in return.  “Can’t really call me Kylo’s pet when I’m standing here, and he’s nowhere to be seen.”  His saber, ignited, hums in challenge as Ari spins it once.  “Think you can face me when I have a weapon in hand?”

“Why should I think of a Force blind like yourself as an actual  _ threat? _ ”

“Well…” Ari pretends to have to think about it.  “I’ve already proven I’m a better sniper than yours.  And you can’t be much yourself if  _ Kylo  _ was the Master of the Knights,” he drawls.

That does it.

Everything else fades to the background as the Rogue charges him with a snarl, both short red sabers drawn.  Ari parries a stab easily, their fury overwhelming their sense.  His Soresu defense flows like water, pushing aside the Rogue’s fierce but uncontrolled Juyo strikes.  It’s a weakness most of the Knights share, this tendency to uncontrolled aggression when angry.

The Rogue though, they’re more cunning than the others.  The Juyo strikes lose none of their ferocity, but the Knight is reining themself in.  Getting their anger under control.  And Ari can’t spare the focus to try to rile them once more.  Not with twin blades licking out from clever hands like tongues of fire, testing his defenses.  A flicker from the right draws his attention.  A feint!  The Rogue strikes hard from the left, and he can’t get his saber into position in time.  Ari only just manages to twist enough that the saber scores a line along his ribs rather than piercing his lung.

The pain makes him falter, two more blows scarcely deflected aside to mark shoulder and thigh.  If saber wounds didn’t cauterize, he’d be crippled already.  Something has to change, or he’s going to lose.  In a brief pause as the two fighters circle, Ari breathes deep and shifts his stance minutely.  When the Rogue goes for a high strike, Ari lunges low, catlike, sweeping his saber at their ankles.  They’re forced to abandon their attack to dance away.  Ari presses his assault.  The precision of Makashi comes easily to him, pushing forward to keep the Rogue off balance and defensive.

So deep into the rhythm of combat, Ari fails for some time to realize that the Rogue is leading him through the corridors of the Citadel.  They reach Snoke’s chamber from behind to find Rey, Luke, and the other two Knights already locked in combat before the throne.  Ari tries not to allow the memories of this room and its rough stone floor to flood him.

The Rogue seems less familiar with the vagaries of the stone.  Trying a quick feint around Ari’s side, they stumble, just slightly.  Ari seizes his chance, ducking under the short saber and driving the pommel of his lightsaber into the Rogue’s solar plexus.  Lightning quick, the other hand slaps one of the Force binders around a wrist.  When the Rogue crumbles, dropping their sabers and gasping from the lack of air and Force both, Ari twists their arms behind their back and clicks the other cuff into place.  As an extra precaution, he injects them with the heavy tranquilizer Dr. Kalonia had provided.

With the Rogue taken care of, Ari takes a brief moment to survey the action.  Rey is holding her own against the Monk, even with Snoke sending Force lightning her way.  Luke is struggling a bit more in his fight with the Armoury, the Knight using up her massive supply of explosives to keep the Jedi at bay.  Luke is repeatedly forced to use his abilities to keep the explosions contained, but he doesn’t look to be faltering.

That’s when Ari realizes that Snoke isn’t paying any attention to  _ him _ .  After a decade of having Hux under his thumb, the Force blind Ari mustn’t seem like much of a threat.

_ ‘Perfect.’ _

Ari takes three silent strides forward, swinging his lightsaber in a perfect arc right through Snoke’s neck.  The creature’s head, smoking from the cauterization at the neck, teeters unsteadily before rolling into Snoke’s lap.

The shock of his Master’s death leaves an opening in the Monk’s guard, one blade of Rey’s staff sliding smooth through his guard and his chest.  She turns to gawk at the grisly spectacle on the crumbling throne when she realizes why it was so easy to take him down at the end.

The rain of explosives pauses as the Armoury also feels Snoke’s demise.  Luke uses the opportunity to grab her in a Force hold until he can get his pair of binders on her, followed by the tranquilizer.

It’s anti-climactic, standing there beside Snoke’s throne and realizing they’ve won.  One Knight dead, two unconscious and bound… and most importantly, the creature that had orchestrated the rise of the First Order is dead.  Ari forces himself to admit that he used the binders on the Rogue so he wouldn’t have the option if he had a chance at Snoke.  And he can’t blame it on ‘Hux’.  No, Ari wanted the creature that led his lover into madness, that twisted Ari’s mind, to die.  That it was by his own hand because Snoke underestimated him just makes it feel more just.

Tearing his thoughts away, promising he won’t give in to that feeling, sudden exhaustion sweeps over Ari.  With the battle done, the adrenaline is draining away to leave him aching and painfully aware of each fiery cut the Rogue has left in his flesh.  He wobbles unsteadily down the dais to join Luke and Rey.

“Master Luke,” he tries to admit to his feelings after killing Snoke, but Luke just gives him a gentle smile.

“It’s okay, Ari,” the elder Jedi strokes a hand down Ari’s uninjured arm.  “After what Snoke has stolen from you, it’s natural to feel that way.  I’m proud of you.”

“But I…”

“I’m not sure I wouldn’t have done the same thing.  This way, we are spared a trial and the risk of exposing others to his poison.”

Ari nearly melts in relief that Luke doesn’t condemn him.  The only thing keeping him on his feet at this point is his need to finish the job.

____________________

Once he’s released from the medbay, Ari has just one destination in mind.  He heads to the depths of the base, knocking on the one door that always has a guard stationed next to it.  The knock is a courtesy, the guard being the one to control who goes in and out.

“Hi, Ben.  Can I come in?”

“Of course, Ari,” Ben’s voice is pleased.  “You know you’re welcome anytime.”

The guard opens the door to let Ari in to quarters much like the ones he was given when he first arrived.  Ben’s stretched out across the couch, long legs hanging off the arm and a datapad propped in his lap.  His status has been in a state of ambiguity since Ari had brought his unconscious form to the base, no one quite sure what to do with him.  They had no idea if he had made his choices freely, or been brainwashed by Snoke, and couldn’t let him free until they knew for sure.  Once they’d gotten the Force suppressant cuffs on his wrists, he’d been allowed a bit more freedom at least.

It was surprising how cooperative Ben had been with his limited movement.  He’d clearly been making an effort to be pleasant and remorseful.  Without his ability to read people, Ben’s unaware that his friendly manner has actually made Leia and Ari  _ more _ suspicious of his motives, and the reason why he’s still on house arrest.

“I’m not sure you’ll be so pleased to see me when you hear why.”

“What?  Why?”

“Snoke is dead.”

And for the first time, there’s a crack in Ben’s pleasant façade.  Fury and fear shine through.  “M-master is gone?” he stammers, and there’s something childlike and hurt in his tone.

It suddenly sinks in that Ben has just been biding his time.  “You were just waiting for Snoke to raze this base and retrieve you, weren’t you?”

“Of course not, Hux!  I’m happy to be back here with you and mom!”  Ben protests, but Ari can read the lie in his face.

Ari sinks down in his chair and drops his head into his hands.  His words come out muffled, but clear enough.  “Oh kriff, you have been.”  It’s the death knell for his hopes that Ben truly was pleased to be away from Snoke’s grasp.  “Yes, he’s gone, and I’m glad of it.  Even with the Force suppressants, can’t you feel he’s gone from your mind?”

Ben’s brow furrows, his eyes closing as he falls into a familiar posture for searching the Force.  Only heartbeats pass before he’s bounding to his feet.  “Master, what have they done to you?”

“Only what he deserved,” Ari responds, calm in the face of Ben’s pacing.

He tries to hold on to that calm when Ben whirls and hauls him up from his chair by the collar of his shirt.  “It was you, wasn’t it?  You  _ dared _ to strike down one of the greatest Force users ever?”

Ari snorts.  “Not so great if he couldn’t even tell I was walking up to him.”

“It felt good, didn’t it?  To strike him down?”

“…Yes,” Ari is forced to admit.

“See, Hux?  You’re just like me after all.  You wanted to kill Snoke, so you did.  Who else do you want to execute?  I promise, it gets easier.”  Ben’s low voice has always been seductive, insidious.  But Ari can see his manipulation for what it is now, no longer blinded by love and his faith in Ben’s guileless expression.

“I hope you’re wrong about that, Ben.”  Ari wrenches himself out of Ben’s grasp, leaving shreds of his shirt hanging from large hands.  “Either way, I hope I never have to kill again.”

He knocks on the door, the guard letting him out while keeping his stun blaster aimed square at Ben.  As Ari walks away, he can hear the sounds of destruction echoing behind him.

“You might want to call for another guard,” he adds calmly.  “Ben’s just had some bad news.”

* * *

Ari is thirty-seven, and the date of Ben’s trial is fast approaching.  With a new government installed at last, he will get due process, though few have doubt of his guilt by now.  Once Snoke had been killed, Luke had been able to read Ben’s mind, an attempt to figure out how much of his actions had been Snoke’s influence and how much his own choice.  To the dismay of all who loved him, Ben had chosen to fall to Snoke, chosen the Dark.

Ari remembers that day well.

_ Ben is strapped to a medical gurney and sedated.  He had protested this, but Luke insisted.  “I know how painful this kind of mind-search is, particularly if you have a strong impulse to conceal something.  I won’t cause you unnecessary harm, Ben.” _

_ Ari thinks it’s also to keep Ben from turning the search back on Luke, or deceiving him somehow.  With the Force suppressing cuffs on, he can’t use his powers actively.  But within his own mind, it’s anyone’s guess. _

_ Luke takes his seat at the head of the gurney, his hands resting gently on either side of Ben’s head.  The posture is unnecessary, but helps with focus.  The elder Jedi closes his eyes and sinks into meditation.  His head almost bows to touch Ben’s, so deep is he that all outside awareness is lost.  Ari had asked to be brought into the search, since so much of it concerns him, but Luke had refused.  Apparently bringing in the tumult of emotions he’s sure to feel would have a severe effect on the connection.  (Some part of him wants to be brought in regardless, sure that Ben deserves to feel all of it.) _

_ For a long time, nothing happens, while the observers watch with bated breath.  In addition to Ari and Luke, a number of others are present.  Leia, obviously, Maratelle as the representative of the new Senate, Rey for the Jedi, and a fair few of the Resistance’s high command.  Ari looks around at the faces gathered, and sees boredom seeping into many of their expressions.  Clearly they had expected more to watch than two ‘sleeping’ Force users. _

_ When at last Luke opens his eyes, there’s a collective inhale as everyone wishes to question him at the same time.  He forestalls them by speaking first, a bitter twist to his mouth that looks out of place on his kind face. _

_ “It’s not what we’d hoped.  Ben made his choices, even knowing they were wrong.” _

_ His mum stepping forward to record Luke’s statement for the trial, Ari finds himself clutching Leia’s hand for reassurance and comfort.  Both of them have been prepared to hear the worst of Ben for… years, while still secretly hoping for the best.  That Ben has been brainwashed by Snoke when he was too young to resist, and they need only help him break the conditioning. _

_ “Leia, we were right that Snoke began to speak with Ben very young.  He presented himself as a friend, did what he could to fuel Ben’s moodiness and small rebellions.  While it worked to some degree, Ben clung to his bonds with his family, even as he resented us for not being there for him more.  Snoke tried to encourage him to embrace his Darkness, and he did try for a time.  But Snoke pushed him too far when he urged him to kill a small animal around when he was ten, and Ben pulled away from his ‘friend’” _

_ “That’s when he asked to go to Luke’s temple to start training!” Leia realizes. _

_ “Yes.  And he was sincere in his desire to become a Jedi for many years.  But he never truly tried to come to terms with the insecurity which Snoke had fostered in him, the occasional mockery for his looks not helping.  He wanted the power of a Jedi so he could prove people wrong.  He was less interested in the selfless service than he was in having people admire and like him.” _

_ Luke turns to Ari, face grave.  “I’m afraid that it was both his love of you and his fear of rejection that pushed him towards Snoke once more.” _

_ Ari recoils as if he’s been struck.  “You mean, all of this, it’s  _ my _ fault?” _

_ Leia pulls him into a hug, her solidity reassuring despite her diminutive size.  “No, Ari, Ben’s choices are his own.” _

_ “Leia is correct,” Luke smiles warmly at him.  “Remember the day I asked you to stay at the temple?  When you came to me worried that Ben had mistaken what you said?” _

_ “Yes…” Ari nods slowly, remembering how worried he had been.  “Ben thought I would start to ignore him in favour of the others.” _

_ “I shouldn’t have stopped you from going after him that night,” the elder Jedi admits.  “He reached out to Snoke once again, asking how he could stop you from leaving him.  Snoke promised Ben could keep you if he went to Snoke for training.  That he would show him how to make people respect him.” _

_ Ari feels bile rise in his throat as he holds Leia more tightly.  So even while Ben promised he loved him, he was planning to  _ keep _ Ari like he had no will of his own. _

_ “Ben actually reconsidered for a time after you found him the next morning and explained.  But seeing you befriend the other padawans, he allowed his jealousy to fester.  Snoke knew how to tell Ben exactly what he wanted to hear.  Even though Ben knew it was flattery…well, you know how eager he’s always been for praise and recognition.” _

_ Oh, did Ari ever.  And hadn’t mattered to him as Kylo if it was positive recognition.  He found fear almost more flattering than respect. _

_ “Snoke picked his timing well.  He told Ben it was time to leave just after I had spoken to him once more about his attachment to you, Ari.  I was concerned about how possessive he was becoming of not only your love, but your attention and time.  You know I didn’t object to your relationship, but Ben knew that his duties as a Jedi should come first.  _

_ “Once Snoke had convinced Ben it was time to leave, he worked on getting him to agree to the massacre.  It wasn’t as difficult as it should have been.  All he needed to say was that it was the fault of the other padawans that Ben had to leave in the first place.  It was Snoke who nurtured his possessiveness and resentment for me and the others.  That, Ari, you had agreed to belong to Ben when you said you loved him.  But also that you wouldn’t understand yet, that you were too attached to the liars and traitors of the Light.  He would have to bring you without your consent.” _

_ “And the attempted Force suggestion?  The memory replacement?” _

_ “Necessary, because you were too stubborn to admit to the self-evident truth.  You had been deceived for so long, you didn’t want to see what was really happening.  It pained Ben greatly when you resisted.  Unfortunately, it just made him more determined.  He really does love you, but he allowed that to convince him it was reasonable to act ‘for your own benefit’. _

_ “After that, it was easier and easier to justify everything for himself.  Ben had made his choice to follow in Darth Vader’s footsteps, and everything else came from that.  Particularly him pushing ‘Hux’ into designing a superweapon that would surpass the Death Star in every way.” _

_ Luke sighs heavily.  “I wish Ben had chosen Anakin to emulate, rather than Vader.”  He recites a list of Ben’s crimes as Kylo Ren in a toneless voice, just the kind that judges prefer.  All of this will be played during Ben’s trial. _

_ “And now?” Leia asks when the horrifying recitation is through.  “Does Ben regret any of his actions?” _

_ “Regrets that he was caught, perhaps.”  Luke shakes his head sadly.  “Though Ben has put on an appearance of regret, he’s only giving us what he knows we want.  He has plans to wait until we remove the Force suppression cuffs before erasing Ari’s memories once more.  Ben thinks if he can remove those memories of betrayal, the two of you can live happily.” _

_ “Kri-,” he stops himself before he can curse on the official record for the trial.  “Really?” _

_ “But he doesn’t know that Snoke was reinforcing the false memories, so it wouldn’t work for long.” _

_ Ari can’t listen to any more.  There’s too much feeling building up inside, and he can’t pick through the individual emotions.  Excusing himself, he winds up dashing to the fresher to vomit. _

Rey, Poe, and Finn had left him alone for a day, and then descended upon him like a well-meaning whirlwind.  In the intervening months, they had done their level best to make sure he never had the time or energy to sink into a hole of his own thoughts.  It was greatly appreciated, and unexpected from those who had been his opponents.  But the (inseparable) trio had welcomed him.  (Three years after they’d met, and the base  _ still _ has an ongoing bet about what configuration they’re sleeping together in, if at all.  No one can gather enough information to settle it.)

With only two days left until the trial, all of Ari’s nerves are on edge.  He’s not really certain what outcome he’s hoping for.  And execution is on the table.

Poe finds him in the commissary, staring into his oatmeal as if it holds the answers to the questions of the universe.

“C’mon, Ari.  You can contemplate your food later.  I need you to take a look at my X-Wing, it’s making a funny whining noise when I pull a 6G turn in atmo.”  The broader man bodily lifts him from his seat, BB-8 bumping at Ari’s heels as Poe tugs him along.

The problem is so specific that Ari is certain it’s made up, as have many of the things Poe has wanted him to ‘fix’ lately.  That, or Poe has resorted to deliberately breaking things on his beloved ship just to keep Ari distracted.

Later, as Ari wipes at a patch of grease on his cheek and only succeeds in smearing it farther, he pauses.  It’s a question he’s been afraid to ask, but it’s nagging at him anyways.  “Poe, why aren’t I on trial?”

There’s a loud ‘clang’ from where Poe is taking a look at some wiring under the wings, and some muffled cursing.  A curly black head ducks out, Poe looking at Ari with surprise.  “Why  _ would _ you be?”  BB-8 beeps an agreement with his master’s question.  “I mean, the Resistance already heard your story, we know you weren’t responsible for any of your actions.”

Ari snorts.  “Yes, the  _ Resistance _ knows.  But what about due process?  You know, the fair justice system we’re supposed to be committed to in the Republic?”  He sobers.  “I’m sure those who lost people when Starkiller was fired would like to know that justice was done.”

A new voice sounds behind Ari.  “That was part of our concern for holding an open trial for you, Ari.”

He spins to come face to – well, her face only comes up to his chest, but Leia is standing behind him.  “What do you mean?”

“Despite our best efforts, the justice system is still rather influenced by public emotion.  If we held an open trial, and let it be known that you were General Hux…we thought we’d be inundated for calls for your death, regardless of your culpability.  Your appearance has changed enough that we were able to put it about that General Hux died with Starkiller.  It isn’t, strictly speaking, even a lie.”

Laughing, Ari runs a hair through his shoulder-length hair.  With that and his neatly kept beard, he supposes he does look rather different as he had as Hux.  And his newfound revulsion for his last name ensures he’s only known as Ari.  “You keep saying ‘open trial’,” he observes.  “What about having a closed one?”

“Ah, well, we’ve already had one?”  Leia is as close to sheepish as he’s ever seen her.

Taken aback, Ari asks, “but how can you hold a trial without the defendant?”

“There was a special session called of the Supreme Court of the Republic.  In the preliminary examination, Luke and I were permitted to speak for you.  Since Luke could testify both to precisely what Ben and Snoke had done to you, and the effects of the memory replacement on you, he was allowed to speak in your place.  The justices decided it wasn’t necessary to have you listen to testimony on the torture you underwent.

“After a day’s deliberation, you were fully acquitted.”

Ari finds he needs to sit down very suddenly.  BB-8 rolls over and bumps him, asking if he’s experiencing low power.  He chuckles at the little droid.  “No, BB-8.  It’s just hard to believe a court found me ‘not guilty’.  All this time, I’ve still been carrying Starkiller on my back.”

He tilts his head back to look Leia in the eye.  “This doesn’t make things better.  The weight is still there…but it helps.  Thank you.”

____________________

Ben’s trial passes in a blur for Ari.  He cares little about the charges, the mountain of evidence accumulated against him.  There’s startlingly few witnesses called, at least until one remembers that Kylo Ren had not been in the habit of leaving people alive.  Ari had been there for all of it, or at least read the after-action reports.  No, for him, the important day is the verdict.  It’s the only part of the trial he attends, Poe and Finn flanking he and Leia in the front bench.

Rey and Luke had spent the entire trial guarding Ben where he sits in the defendant’s box.  Even with Force suppressant cuffs on, he’s still a dangerous man, and no one intends to forget it.  It’s also a political move.  The Jedi Order has been greatly reduced, but it still lives on.  It still has a future.

Rey winks at him once before her face sobers once more.

The Supreme Court justices file in as a guard commands the room to rise.  Everyone sits once again at a gesture from the Chief Justice, a wizened Mon Calamari female.  (He’s getting better at pushing down the part of Hux that insists no non-human deserves to hold such a vital position.)

“We are here today to determine the innocence or guilt of one Ben Organa-Solo, for multiple counts of murder in the first degree, inhumane treatment of prisoners, abuse of his Force powers, mind control, and treason, as well as too many other charges to list once more.  For a detailed recounting, the records of this closed trial will be made public once the sentence has been carried out.”

Ari closes his eyes as the litany reminds him of the trail of destruction Ben had left.  It had begun with the massacre of the temple, and ended with Ben’s murder of his father.

She takes a sip from her water glass before continuing.  “We are unanimous in our decision here today.  Ben Organa-Solo, you are hereby found guilty on all counts.  You will be executed by lethal injection in one week, no appeals permitted.”


	3. Chapter 3

Ari is thirty-seven and having a final visitation with the man he still can’t make himself stop loving.  In spite of everything.  Though he can’t say he doesn’t also hate him.

He’d been avoiding Ben since Luke had read his intentions.  How do you face a man who wants to (has) moulded you into what he desires of a partner?  But this is his last chance.

He’s on the visitors list, but still, it’s not an easy process to be let in to see Ben.  Extensive security screening is par for the course, going through two different imaging devices before he even gets to the floor where Ben’s cell is.  It’s deep in the prison, the lowest level so that even someone as powerful as Kylo Ren would have a difficult time making it through the many layers of security.  And on that floor, there’s another two transparisteel security gates which serve as a sort of airlock.

Even once Ari is allowed into Ben’s cell, there’s another transparisteel barrier between him and the brunet.  At least this one is perforated so they can hear one another.

The guard gives Ari a sympathetic look.  “You’ve got one hour.  I’ll be just outside, so knock if you want to leave earlier,” he says, before sealing the heavy durasteel door behind him.

Ari takes his first look at Ben when he hears the bolts slide into place.  The other man is sitting listlessly on the cot in his cell, long hair in his face, arms resting on his legs with his hands dangling between.  The Force suppressant cuffs shine bright on his wrists.  Ari knows there’s a fresher attached to the cell, but his hair is lank and greasy.  Perhaps he thinks there’s little point.

“Ben?”  His voice is shaky.

Instantly, Ben’s head whips up, a smile on his face which falters almost immediately.  “Come to gloat then, Hux?  Must be easier not to pretend to love me if I’m dead.”

His words fill Ari with a towering rage.  As if  _ Ben _ is the wronged party here.  “What do you  _ think _ was going to happen, Ben?  You  _ replaced _ my memories to turn me into a genocidal fascist,  _ murdered  _ hundreds of people including your own  _ father _ , used your powers to torture and maim, and committed  _ treason _ by joining a group which wanted to destroy the Republic.

“And don’t you kriffing  _ dare _ tell me how I feel!  It would be a  _ hell  _ of a lot easier for me if I  _ didn’t _ still love you!  Do you have any idea how confusing it is to love and hate someone at the same time?”

Ben is staring at him with wide eyes, and Ari realizes he hasn’t actually shouted at the man since he was Hux.  His eyes soften in spite of the anger still welling within him.  “I don’t want you to die, Ben.  But most days I feel as if I should be going to my execution alongside you.”  Ari is suddenly exhausted.  He really only has one question he wants Ben to answer.  The rest is for others to sort out.  “Just…why did you do it?  Why did you say you loved me, and then destroy the person I was?”

“Hux, no…”  Ben cuts off when Ari flinches at the name.

“You can’t even call me by the name I’ve always preferred.”

“It wasn’t meant to be like that, I swear.  You know the New Republic was seething with corruption, even my mother recognized that.  Snoke promised that the First Order would take care of that.  That they’d bring the whole galaxy together, and we wouldn’t have problems like food shortages or politicians only out for their own interests.  I just wanted you to be a part of that with me.”  Ben’s large eyes are shining with sincerity.

“That sounds wonderful, Ben.”  Ari heaves a sigh, scrubbing a hand through his loose hair.  “But if that’s true, why did you have to kill the padawans at the temple?”

“I couldn’t leave them behind to become a new generation of Jedi.  The First Order couldn’t bring the galaxy new peace if we had to deal with Jedi trying to uphold a corrupt system.”

“Hmm, a conveniently pat answer.  Why kill them then?  If your intentions were so good, why not convince them of that?  They would have been wonderful assets for the Order.”

“Skywalker’s teachings were too entrenched.  They never would have accepted the truth, they were too afraid of the Dark.”  Ben sneers at the long-dead padawans.  All Ari can think is that they were right to fear.

Ari slams a hand against the grid holding him back from Ben.  “Then why the pfassk did you take  _ me? _  You knew I was just as devoted to Master Luke and the Republic as any of his other students.”

“I told you already!  What do you want from me, Hux?”

“Pfassk you, Ben!  You’re going to die in two days, the least you can do is give me the  _ truth _ about why you twisted my mind and tore apart my memories.  You’ve got the easier path, damn you,  _ I _ have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life!”

“Because you’re  _ mine _ , Hux!  I wasn’t going to let anyone take you from me, not when you belong to me,” Ben roars at last.

Ari chuckles brokenly.  “And that’s why you were planning to erase my memories again, so we could go and live ‘happily ever after’.”

“Yes,” Ben admits, grudging now that he can no longer hide the truth.  “It would have been easy, since I know how your mind works.”

“No, it wouldn’t have been.”

“What?  Why?”  Ben demands an answer, but Ari knocks on the door to let the guard know he’s ready.  He’s got his answer.  If he stays any longer, he’s going to break down, and Ben doesn’t deserve the sight of his tears.

“Goodbye, Ben.”


End file.
